WHY isit that i'm always the youngest? Why?
I always seem to be hanging out with people older then me. Not that its a bad thing. Nor is it anything close to negative.. but. its just queer ain't it?
Anyway. Lost 28 bucks at the Mahjong table. Dammit dammit. Hell.. zha hu once.. crazy man.. first time i zha hu.. many many money flew out of the drawer. : (
You know.. i used to read everyone else's blogs before writing mine. Especially of close friends and acquaintances i knew.. because i always wanted to publish something, well, in line with the taste and ideas of the general populace. Ah. screw it.
Well. Looks like i can't back out of England already. Sad. Neither should i back out of taiwan come april 8.
I'll be missing Yuming's b'day. which is a keypoint, cus we always celebrated each of our b'days together (cept for the recent year cus of half the grp being in army.. and the sudden slowing down in keeping up with each other).. but since there was a resolution passed to celebrate ALL 6 of our birthdays.. i don't see why i shouldn't stick.. and Yu's is on the 22nd or something..and i'll only be back on the 25th. But the 50 bucks will still be there..
The hiong part of the year for me is near the end.. Then 1 short. EVERYBODY's birthday.. (everybody i mean the remaining 4. minus me) Without income. My pockets will feel austensibly lighter. heh. Why did we ever agree to this? i don't even celebrate my own b'day for goodness sakes.
Very long never go play pool already. feel like playing suddenly, i think i suck at it though. Shall call Auggy and see if he wants to play. maybe tml. : P
crap. tml cannot. too busy. :(
Ah. Santosh and BSO are on BAC.. and so is Melvin, and Cpt Tong.. thats cool cus i have more excuse to book out and go home to go out for supper with them at Changi Vil.. haha.. yay.. more company for weekday suppers.
Haven't seen or contacted some friends in a long long time... It leads me to wonder about their importance. hmm.. Or mine?
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
And i am hooked.
I was never ever the sort to stick my head infront of a google box and stare at it incessantly for an hour. The truth is, i watch all my Lost, Desperate Housewives and what not at one short on the lappie.. I've never been interested in tele shows, and i was an ardent anti-serial drama activist (of course with the exception of zhen qing many years ago).
And now suddenly, i found myself intrigued and hooked by Da Chang Jin... worse, its korean. I mean, yeah.. i was the one dissing the crappy soppy floppy haired Kong Bik Hung 've been theand Kim Dae Jung and Kim Song Il and what not and all sorts of nasal asian names. But Da Chang Jin is just. i dunno... even the theme song is nice.
I want to watch it everyday, and Chang Jin (the female protagonist) is so freaking pretty. my gosh.
And the guy that falls in love with her. is soo handsome.
And yes. as per the conversation i had with MTO today. I think i'm turning gay with boredom. haha.
Its amazing.. from somebody who has hardly watched television other then the odd Lonely Planet or Amazing race to say that a Korean Drama on Channel U can be captivating as such.
I guess its the earnest honesty, I dunno.. the actress just really really attracted me. and i don't even know her name.
the theme song is like. so korean folkish.. aaaarii rrang eeehh ooo arrrii rrraaang ahhh...
so nice.
-----
I just remembered this. anyway.. fyi i've been drifting from the faith especially with so many bad things happening.. But when the song suddenly came to my mind. i nearly cried.
"You have called out our names, We belong to you, You have called our names and We are yours."
Then.. in a moment of Deja Vu.. YES. THAT GUY. THAT SECOND LIEUTENANT. FROM ARMOUR. NO WONDER I FIND HIM SO FREAKING FAMILIAR. HE IS THAT PSALM SINGER FOR 1045 MASS IN CHURCH. I WAS WONDERING WHERE THE HELL HAVE I SEEN HIM BEFORE!!! GOODNESS. what a small world.
And now suddenly, i found myself intrigued and hooked by Da Chang Jin... worse, its korean. I mean, yeah.. i was the one dissing the crappy soppy floppy haired Kong Bik Hung 've been theand Kim Dae Jung and Kim Song Il and what not and all sorts of nasal asian names. But Da Chang Jin is just. i dunno... even the theme song is nice.
I want to watch it everyday, and Chang Jin (the female protagonist) is so freaking pretty. my gosh.
And the guy that falls in love with her. is soo handsome.
And yes. as per the conversation i had with MTO today. I think i'm turning gay with boredom. haha.
Its amazing.. from somebody who has hardly watched television other then the odd Lonely Planet or Amazing race to say that a Korean Drama on Channel U can be captivating as such.
I guess its the earnest honesty, I dunno.. the actress just really really attracted me. and i don't even know her name.
the theme song is like. so korean folkish.. aaaarii rrang eeehh ooo arrrii rrraaang ahhh...
so nice.
-----
I just remembered this. anyway.. fyi i've been drifting from the faith especially with so many bad things happening.. But when the song suddenly came to my mind. i nearly cried.
"You have called out our names, We belong to you, You have called our names and We are yours."
Then.. in a moment of Deja Vu.. YES. THAT GUY. THAT SECOND LIEUTENANT. FROM ARMOUR. NO WONDER I FIND HIM SO FREAKING FAMILIAR. HE IS THAT PSALM SINGER FOR 1045 MASS IN CHURCH. I WAS WONDERING WHERE THE HELL HAVE I SEEN HIM BEFORE!!! GOODNESS. what a small world.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
And could it be...
Ah.. after a day of rest. I'm feeling alot alot alot better. My back doesn't hurt much no more... and my lfu is virtually gone. Rest does wonder.
Surely i deserved this rest right?
That ain't the whole topic of this entry..
Was just watching American Idol, Season 5.. and there was this little guy that looked like chicken little.. he was the totally loveable character doted upon by the judges and the other contestants alike.. It was interesting. He has an amazing voice.. i've neer heard anyone belt out 'if i fall in love' like he did.
When he got voted out today.. everyone was sad. They weren't sad because he was voted out because he wasn't good enough, or fitted america's idea of a idol.. but they were sad because he was a good guy. They liked him enough for it to matter that he left. That struck me most, and i thought it nice.
I thought about people leaving and stuff, and when was the last time i really felt sad that someone leave. I felt sad when my eldest sister moved out 8 years ago to go to UK to study, and she never really came back to singapore to live after that. I totally died when my maternal grandmother died also 8 years back.. but that was different, she was leaving forever.. anybody who's leaving forever you'd definitely feel sad right?
Then i thought about my current friends, those who left the country/battalion/circle/school etc. And who i felt important and nice enough to make me feel sad.. and seriously.. there wasn't really one.
I felt mysteriously surreal when Greg left.. it mimicked my own departure since it was less then a year later that i would leave.. And i felt rather numb when other people left the battalion, posted out.. orded whatever...
And when other friends left for overseas.. i felt.. just oh. ok. bye.. have a good trip..
The only time that i felt sad that someone was leaving. Is now.. when MAJ Chang is leaving.
Probably you could say that it is because i'm feeling vexed, angry, and perturbed at work. That both my superiors... whom we have not worked very long with, are rather.. i don't know. Not ideal to work with i would reckon. Maybe its because Maj Chang was a fantastic boss.. he understood you, and he knew how to use you. He made decisions swiftly, and when he deemed fit, he let you make your own decisions. He never raised his voice when something went wrong, and there was always a better option when bad things happened.
Now.. things are very different. I know as a subordinate, i have to fit myself to my boss, and not the other way round. But somehow.. we just don't see eye to eye. Maybe its because i have been working with maj chang for such a long long time. And everything was a bed of roses, even in the most terrifying and difficult of times. We just tide the tough times out, together.
--------
I thought about the stuff that i acheived or failed to acheive in my NSF life today. It matters alot to me simply because i label myself a patriot. I am patriotic.. to a large extent.. or well.. simply put it, to the extent that i believe in the embodiment of our National Flag, and emblem. Every ounce of it.
I did think of something that i acheived, and am very proud of.. but i want to keep it within me. Knowing that it made a difference to someone, and feeling the effects of it, only make me happy, knowing that these 2 odd years were not in vain. It is of course, one of the most significant events. And its mine to keep.
Surely i deserved this rest right?
That ain't the whole topic of this entry..
Was just watching American Idol, Season 5.. and there was this little guy that looked like chicken little.. he was the totally loveable character doted upon by the judges and the other contestants alike.. It was interesting. He has an amazing voice.. i've neer heard anyone belt out 'if i fall in love' like he did.
When he got voted out today.. everyone was sad. They weren't sad because he was voted out because he wasn't good enough, or fitted america's idea of a idol.. but they were sad because he was a good guy. They liked him enough for it to matter that he left. That struck me most, and i thought it nice.
I thought about people leaving and stuff, and when was the last time i really felt sad that someone leave. I felt sad when my eldest sister moved out 8 years ago to go to UK to study, and she never really came back to singapore to live after that. I totally died when my maternal grandmother died also 8 years back.. but that was different, she was leaving forever.. anybody who's leaving forever you'd definitely feel sad right?
Then i thought about my current friends, those who left the country/battalion/circle/school etc. And who i felt important and nice enough to make me feel sad.. and seriously.. there wasn't really one.
I felt mysteriously surreal when Greg left.. it mimicked my own departure since it was less then a year later that i would leave.. And i felt rather numb when other people left the battalion, posted out.. orded whatever...
And when other friends left for overseas.. i felt.. just oh. ok. bye.. have a good trip..
The only time that i felt sad that someone was leaving. Is now.. when MAJ Chang is leaving.
Probably you could say that it is because i'm feeling vexed, angry, and perturbed at work. That both my superiors... whom we have not worked very long with, are rather.. i don't know. Not ideal to work with i would reckon. Maybe its because Maj Chang was a fantastic boss.. he understood you, and he knew how to use you. He made decisions swiftly, and when he deemed fit, he let you make your own decisions. He never raised his voice when something went wrong, and there was always a better option when bad things happened.
Now.. things are very different. I know as a subordinate, i have to fit myself to my boss, and not the other way round. But somehow.. we just don't see eye to eye. Maybe its because i have been working with maj chang for such a long long time. And everything was a bed of roses, even in the most terrifying and difficult of times. We just tide the tough times out, together.
--------
I thought about the stuff that i acheived or failed to acheive in my NSF life today. It matters alot to me simply because i label myself a patriot. I am patriotic.. to a large extent.. or well.. simply put it, to the extent that i believe in the embodiment of our National Flag, and emblem. Every ounce of it.
I did think of something that i acheived, and am very proud of.. but i want to keep it within me. Knowing that it made a difference to someone, and feeling the effects of it, only make me happy, knowing that these 2 odd years were not in vain. It is of course, one of the most significant events. And its mine to keep.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
And when I'm angry or sad, or afraid.
Those with good sense are slow to anger, and it is thier glory to overlook an offence - Proverbs 19 : 11
------
Anger is the emotion that rules the day. I was so angry in the evening, I could not help cursing. I have worked my ass off in this battalion for the past 1 year 1 month and 20 days. I hardly take offs. I have always taken up every tasking given to me. And i have sacrificed so much time, and even my own health for my work. And now. All i ask for is one day of rest. Rest not because I am tired. Rest because i have slippped disc and have not been able to rest properly, and that I have flu. And you want to, and threaten to deny me of that rest over a petty incident.
How can i not feel angry my Lord?
------
Cast your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you - 1 Peter 5 : 7
------
I am very worried about my back. I thought that my condition has improved over monday and tuesday. Today, I couldn't get out of the car without being helped. I couldn't even straighten my leg.
If you're telling me not to be worried. How can that be? I have led an active lifestlye all my life. Now, i can't even sit still for long, and can't walk long distances without feeling pain.
How can I not feel worried my Lord?
------
You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why? declares the Lord Almighty. Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. - Haggai 1 : 9
------
Disappointed with how things turn out? I can hardly say it out. If this is the way I'm treated after working my ass off for this battalion. I'm ready to leave. Anytime.
How can I not feel disappointed my Lord?
------
I learnt in OCS that as Commanders, we are responsible for the morale of our men. It is the first and foremost responsibility that we have towards the people who have surrendered their trust into your hands.
Why is it that my direct superior and Commander, both new to me, are seemingly uninterested in my own morale? Why is it that they are so insensitive to what I am going through now with my back. With everything thats happening at light speed?
Are they really my commanders?
I miss MAJ Chang.
------
Anger is the emotion that rules the day. I was so angry in the evening, I could not help cursing. I have worked my ass off in this battalion for the past 1 year 1 month and 20 days. I hardly take offs. I have always taken up every tasking given to me. And i have sacrificed so much time, and even my own health for my work. And now. All i ask for is one day of rest. Rest not because I am tired. Rest because i have slippped disc and have not been able to rest properly, and that I have flu. And you want to, and threaten to deny me of that rest over a petty incident.
How can i not feel angry my Lord?
------
Cast your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you - 1 Peter 5 : 7
------
I am very worried about my back. I thought that my condition has improved over monday and tuesday. Today, I couldn't get out of the car without being helped. I couldn't even straighten my leg.
If you're telling me not to be worried. How can that be? I have led an active lifestlye all my life. Now, i can't even sit still for long, and can't walk long distances without feeling pain.
How can I not feel worried my Lord?
------
You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why? declares the Lord Almighty. Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house. - Haggai 1 : 9
------
Disappointed with how things turn out? I can hardly say it out. If this is the way I'm treated after working my ass off for this battalion. I'm ready to leave. Anytime.
How can I not feel disappointed my Lord?
------
I learnt in OCS that as Commanders, we are responsible for the morale of our men. It is the first and foremost responsibility that we have towards the people who have surrendered their trust into your hands.
Why is it that my direct superior and Commander, both new to me, are seemingly uninterested in my own morale? Why is it that they are so insensitive to what I am going through now with my back. With everything thats happening at light speed?
Are they really my commanders?
I miss MAJ Chang.
Monday, March 20, 2006
And Greg is a Mofo wearing a Mary J.
(to be read imagining me speaking in the most immaculate british accented queen's english)
Pardon my affrontry, and lack of knowledge of the American Culture. I haven't the slightest idea what a "Mofo" is, or what sort of dress is a Mary J.
And i do believe, that my OCS buddy greg has called himself a Mary-J-wearing Mofo jiggling to Lebanese folk with the follwing statement:
"Blast that lebanese music and roll up your Mary J's cos this boy's gonna make you clean your room like a mofo!"
Brilliant atypical example of structured american conversation!
Haha..
gosh i miss those days.
----------
Bored today. Totally bored. Ok. not Totally, as i was occupied with 2 different doctors. One TCM, one western (who gave me many many painkillers, and taught me kinky tantric positions to alleviate the pain), and also.. with problems back at work.
It certainly isn't very fair that even on your off days, you've got to be totally bogged by work when you're trying to change into your swimming trunks for a dip in the pool.. pack up your room.. talk to the taxi driver.. listen to the pharmacist.. whatever. It isn't very fair at all.
---------
Spent a good part of the day lying in bed.. reading boring books like Frank McCourt's latest book (i can't even remember the title).. it isn't as great as Raymond put it out to be.. it is to me, only another copy of JD Salinger's rampaged and darkened description of a disturbed teen in the 1940s. Only this time, he ain't a teen, but he's a teach. The style is hauntingly similar, with slight hints of West End Story.. Nevertheless a time burner.
Spent the rest of the time reading through FOOOD blogs. ooh.. And i came out with a list of Restaurants/Bistros/Cafes i would like to visit before i scoot..
In order of importance/desire to visit..
(1) Jaan
(2) Au Petit Salut
(3) Bathers Cafe
(4) PS Cafe
(5) Academy Bistro
Haha.. insane. utterly insane.
ANyway. I just received a phonecall that i've got to be at PLC at 0745. FUCK. seriously. FUCK. WHAT the FUCK. I can't possibly get there by 0745 from home. Like hell-fucking-o? I seriously regret my decision to extend. Goodness gracious me. what have i gotten myself into?
If i take a cab from home. I can't even freaking claim lah. goodness. what the hell right?
sucks. that only gives me the option to go back tonight. Even if i want to go PLC tml myself, I DON'T HAVE MY NO 4 WITH ME!!!!??? I only have my No 3 at home. and i don't want to wear my No 3 uniform thank you.
Everything is in a mess. Everything can only be in a mess when i'm on off. Nothing ever seems to happen when i'm not on off.
Pardon my affrontry, and lack of knowledge of the American Culture. I haven't the slightest idea what a "Mofo" is, or what sort of dress is a Mary J.
And i do believe, that my OCS buddy greg has called himself a Mary-J-wearing Mofo jiggling to Lebanese folk with the follwing statement:
"Blast that lebanese music and roll up your Mary J's cos this boy's gonna make you clean your room like a mofo!"
Brilliant atypical example of structured american conversation!
Haha..
gosh i miss those days.
----------
Bored today. Totally bored. Ok. not Totally, as i was occupied with 2 different doctors. One TCM, one western (who gave me many many painkillers, and taught me kinky tantric positions to alleviate the pain), and also.. with problems back at work.
It certainly isn't very fair that even on your off days, you've got to be totally bogged by work when you're trying to change into your swimming trunks for a dip in the pool.. pack up your room.. talk to the taxi driver.. listen to the pharmacist.. whatever. It isn't very fair at all.
---------
Spent a good part of the day lying in bed.. reading boring books like Frank McCourt's latest book (i can't even remember the title).. it isn't as great as Raymond put it out to be.. it is to me, only another copy of JD Salinger's rampaged and darkened description of a disturbed teen in the 1940s. Only this time, he ain't a teen, but he's a teach. The style is hauntingly similar, with slight hints of West End Story.. Nevertheless a time burner.
Spent the rest of the time reading through FOOOD blogs. ooh.. And i came out with a list of Restaurants/Bistros/Cafes i would like to visit before i scoot..
In order of importance/desire to visit..
(1) Jaan
(2) Au Petit Salut
(3) Bathers Cafe
(4) PS Cafe
(5) Academy Bistro
Haha.. insane. utterly insane.
ANyway. I just received a phonecall that i've got to be at PLC at 0745. FUCK. seriously. FUCK. WHAT the FUCK. I can't possibly get there by 0745 from home. Like hell-fucking-o? I seriously regret my decision to extend. Goodness gracious me. what have i gotten myself into?
If i take a cab from home. I can't even freaking claim lah. goodness. what the hell right?
sucks. that only gives me the option to go back tonight. Even if i want to go PLC tml myself, I DON'T HAVE MY NO 4 WITH ME!!!!??? I only have my No 3 at home. and i don't want to wear my No 3 uniform thank you.
Everything is in a mess. Everything can only be in a mess when i'm on off. Nothing ever seems to happen when i'm not on off.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
And i never thought it'd ever come to this.
I was incensed at the stupid system so much so i typed 2 long emails one to S3 and S1, and the other to div arty.
The duty room was FLOOODED! which gave us the perfect excuse to hide in S3 branch and watch movies all day long.
Then.. i ran out of PAINKILLERS!!! OUCH OUCH>. so i stuck on 2 x salonpas.,. and the heat zapped away the pain. momentarily.
Then.. i went for mass this morning.. and there was this damn hippie guy who walked past me.. and i burst out laughing.. guess what was on his tee shirt??
"GEOLOGISTS MAKE YOUR BEDROCK"
I freaking nearly exploded... in church somemore.. if Fr Gerard were to see the tee.. He'd
(a) Wouldn't understand a thing about it (he doesn't even understand what Hmm is on MSN.. )
(b) Be so incensed his chasuble will float up like some angry vilified cartoon.
(c) Laugh.
I choose (a).
The next time i see that guy.. i'm gonna ask him where he got his tee from.. haha..
And i'm going to wear it to church too..
I'm on off on monday! Alleluia... i'm going to spend the morn at the docs.. to see what anyone can do for me for my awfully hurting back.
----
And it isn't dignified to run!
I feel happy whenever i hear this song... i wish i could go for a run. (i can't even walk properly now.. hahaha)
Anyway.. i poofed out after writing the stuff before the ----.. and i woke up.. and my back felt good. I don't know if it was the painkillers.. i hope not.
The duty room was FLOOODED! which gave us the perfect excuse to hide in S3 branch and watch movies all day long.
Then.. i ran out of PAINKILLERS!!! OUCH OUCH>. so i stuck on 2 x salonpas.,. and the heat zapped away the pain. momentarily.
Then.. i went for mass this morning.. and there was this damn hippie guy who walked past me.. and i burst out laughing.. guess what was on his tee shirt??
"GEOLOGISTS MAKE YOUR BEDROCK"
I freaking nearly exploded... in church somemore.. if Fr Gerard were to see the tee.. He'd
(a) Wouldn't understand a thing about it (he doesn't even understand what Hmm is on MSN.. )
(b) Be so incensed his chasuble will float up like some angry vilified cartoon.
(c) Laugh.
I choose (a).
The next time i see that guy.. i'm gonna ask him where he got his tee from.. haha..
And i'm going to wear it to church too..
I'm on off on monday! Alleluia... i'm going to spend the morn at the docs.. to see what anyone can do for me for my awfully hurting back.
----
And it isn't dignified to run!
I feel happy whenever i hear this song... i wish i could go for a run. (i can't even walk properly now.. hahaha)
Anyway.. i poofed out after writing the stuff before the ----.. and i woke up.. and my back felt good. I don't know if it was the painkillers.. i hope not.
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