I am obsessed. So much so that I have to write another entry today. Due to the sensitive nature of the person i am about to speak about, and the sensitive nature of the entire incident/event/episode/every fucking paraphrasable word for incident, i cannot post pictures, name names, or show you links at the very least, lest i start another uproar and controversy. All over again.
There have been cases, in the past erm, year of late blooming adolescence (I was an adult first, then adolescent, then child, then senior citizen, thats my growth cycle.) a few peoples who were, well, attractive. At least to me (shuttup now).
And now, i'm reduced to this load of crap obessively checking my mail for a reply. Oh why won't you smile again?
The hair, the eyes, the everything. makes me drop my stupid Sec 2 scripts (i was going to drop them anyway) and swoon and go weak in my knees.
My very own, Chardonnay.
-----
Another point altogether.
I am so tempted to delete those songs, from those albums that you loved so much. I didn't even know that they existed until you told me about them one day.
But those songs carried me through the horribly long summer days in Taiwan. The long hours of waiting.. and the long bus rides. These songs became my life, and again, i was obsessed then.
The music and the lyrics were like a rejuvenation each time i heard them. It reminded me of civilisation, of home, and of my friends in singapore, and most of all, you. Now, it just somehow makes me want to puke.
But, for old times sake. I'll be keeping them, for now, in my iTunes.
I've tried so hard to keep my silence.
--------
I am being trashed in Minesweeper by yanping as we speak. But i always trash charles!!!!! no fair.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
The act of reasoning in reaction.
Fr Ambrose brought up a very good point. The way people react to things, are a direct result of situations within that person's dimensions, past and present, and how he or she wants to form the future.
This means, the the atrocities committed by criminals and bad people past and present, are definintely and surely unforgivable, but if it were put in the very same situation as the person, who knows? we may do exactly the same.
It is an interesting concept. I doubt it is a hypothesis.
So does this justify my actions? I don't know. I don't think so. but it entwines the notions of destiny and fate, choices and redemptions. too cheem for me.
This means, the the atrocities committed by criminals and bad people past and present, are definintely and surely unforgivable, but if it were put in the very same situation as the person, who knows? we may do exactly the same.
It is an interesting concept. I doubt it is a hypothesis.
So does this justify my actions? I don't know. I don't think so. but it entwines the notions of destiny and fate, choices and redemptions. too cheem for me.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Hai Mien Bo Si Fang Ku Zi.
The chinese name for Spongebob Squarepants. You should hear Rita trying to literate dear o spongebob's name in chinese. Totally retarded.
Remind me next time not to bring home scripts to mark, but stay back in school to mark the scripts instead. I took 3 hours to mark 10 papers when it usually takes 45 mins.
haha. I'm never going to finish at this rate.
-------------------
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
Definitely one of the least superficial reality programmes on TV these days. It aims at renewing the lives of drastically-too-poor-to-renovate-my-home people who are basically good-and-brady-bunched families, or Erawki (Iraqi) war heroes, through renovating, or even rebuilding the whole damned house, and giving the family members a mini makeover!
But, it is still superficial, in its own light, and sense. Surely, it is a good thing to help these people, or give these people a great morale boost when they need it most. Take for example, the house of this extremely large nuptialed family who live in this run down small house too small to even house a dining table. They're a good family, raising good kids, with good values, but the folks ain't earning a balenciaga bag a day.
They renew the house into a spank of a bungalow, fit for the hallowed pages of *Wallpaper! Sure! Thats great! The family gets this whole big o suprise and theres the oohs and the aahs, the free trinitron TVs, the great looking furniture, and the high tech appliances.
At the end of the show, you're left wondering, these, are poor people. Can they afford the upkeep of these materialistic extravagant items? It doesn't make sense ain't it? You were once a drinker of table wine, or port, using platic flowers, and waming up in your shody little fireplace, now, with a spanking 6 room mansion, and your measaly 1.2K pay, how the bloody hell are you going to upkeep your house with 2 hot tubs and a pooL???? who will do the cleaning? Who will do the maintenance? What about the water bills? the electricity bills? Dear audiences, do not be naive, and be happy for these people.
Its just a vicious cycle.
Imagine this.. (in a texas accent) paw paw decides, damn, these appliances worth a damn lot, and we ain't gonna need them, and we folks don't earn much peanuts to go round 'ere, lets just sell the whole darn mansion for a gee whiz and live the off the damn money!!
So the poor OhMiGawd kids gotto pack their ragged winnie poohs, and rag tag clothes, leaving the trinitron tv, the xbox games, and baseball shit all at the house, and move back into a ruddy small ole apartment, eating gunk from the soup house with paw paw and mama, living off the money they profited, while paw paw and mama just spend the damn loads on crack, alcohol, and cursing the Iraqis for their poor fate.
Thats America for you Ladies and Gentlemen.
----------
Maj Chang wrote me a fantastic Testimonial that totally rawked my socks off. I am eternally indebted to him.
Remind me next time not to bring home scripts to mark, but stay back in school to mark the scripts instead. I took 3 hours to mark 10 papers when it usually takes 45 mins.
haha. I'm never going to finish at this rate.
-------------------
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
Definitely one of the least superficial reality programmes on TV these days. It aims at renewing the lives of drastically-too-poor-to-renovate-my-home people who are basically good-and-brady-bunched families, or Erawki (Iraqi) war heroes, through renovating, or even rebuilding the whole damned house, and giving the family members a mini makeover!
But, it is still superficial, in its own light, and sense. Surely, it is a good thing to help these people, or give these people a great morale boost when they need it most. Take for example, the house of this extremely large nuptialed family who live in this run down small house too small to even house a dining table. They're a good family, raising good kids, with good values, but the folks ain't earning a balenciaga bag a day.
They renew the house into a spank of a bungalow, fit for the hallowed pages of *Wallpaper! Sure! Thats great! The family gets this whole big o suprise and theres the oohs and the aahs, the free trinitron TVs, the great looking furniture, and the high tech appliances.
At the end of the show, you're left wondering, these, are poor people. Can they afford the upkeep of these materialistic extravagant items? It doesn't make sense ain't it? You were once a drinker of table wine, or port, using platic flowers, and waming up in your shody little fireplace, now, with a spanking 6 room mansion, and your measaly 1.2K pay, how the bloody hell are you going to upkeep your house with 2 hot tubs and a pooL???? who will do the cleaning? Who will do the maintenance? What about the water bills? the electricity bills? Dear audiences, do not be naive, and be happy for these people.
Its just a vicious cycle.
Imagine this.. (in a texas accent) paw paw decides, damn, these appliances worth a damn lot, and we ain't gonna need them, and we folks don't earn much peanuts to go round 'ere, lets just sell the whole darn mansion for a gee whiz and live the off the damn money!!
So the poor OhMiGawd kids gotto pack their ragged winnie poohs, and rag tag clothes, leaving the trinitron tv, the xbox games, and baseball shit all at the house, and move back into a ruddy small ole apartment, eating gunk from the soup house with paw paw and mama, living off the money they profited, while paw paw and mama just spend the damn loads on crack, alcohol, and cursing the Iraqis for their poor fate.
Thats America for you Ladies and Gentlemen.
----------
Maj Chang wrote me a fantastic Testimonial that totally rawked my socks off. I am eternally indebted to him.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Excidentally.
When you get excited accidentally, what do you get? Excidentally.
After a day of reading English Situational Writing scripts, I do feel a little wonky.
Africans give brith to white rhinos, and sell them to foreigners.
A young boy being ran over by a screaming frightened horde.
Students who enjoy torturing their teachers and princiPLE.
I become very confused after a day of marking, and i can see why teachers are usually a wonky insane bunch.
The staff room is an amazingly bitchy place, in an extremely funny way. Its fun.
------
The latest Australian Tourist Promotion Board's "Where the bLoody Hell are you!?" Advert.
It makes me laugh, and really makes me want to go to Australia.
We were talking about travelling today, and it struck me that a large minority of young adults want to and desire to back pack not because of the chic-ness (which has already worn off long long ago), but well, because of being bored, poor (broke), and educated young individuals who have seen past tourist traps... I applaud that.
------
I got a rude shock when i heard comments on television, by Dr Lee Boon Yang, the Cabinet Minister for Information, Communication and the Arts, and at the same time, the leader for the PAP team in the Jalan Besar Elections, actually said that he wanted to renovate the old Hawker centres in Chinatown (Infamous for its wonderfully authentic chinese hawker foods) into one that is accomodating for tourists!
Have we not learnt from the errors of Lau Pa Sat? Look at it now, instead of being a credible and food powerhouse, it has degenerated into a normal foodcourt for the shenton way executives! Nothing special! The original idea to turn it into a tourist trap had failed immensely. Shouldn't we be learning from our past mistakes?
Worse, the hawker centre is a cultural identity of Singapore. It is the centre of our meals, and the heart of our food culture. How can we allow a respectable hawker centre to be built in such a way to specially cater to foreigners?
We already have enough tourist traps in Chinatown that simply scream, "We Love Tourist Money!" (sure, we do!), do we need another non-authentic local scene that has been duly mutated to suit the tastes of foreign consumers? Are we sacrificing our food culture for the sake of tourist money? Most importantly, will tourists realise this Tourist Trap, and take pains to avoid eating there, which will result in another Lau Pa Sat?
--------
The situation has not improved. But i'm leaving it into the hands of G-d.. there isn't much I can do now, at this stage. I learnt yesterday, through all the sharing experiences that irregardless of the fatality of the situation, if it is meant to be, and if we are righteous and above-board in our doings, G-d will make a way.
Surely, the sadness, and the feelings stick, and they stick hard, but there comes a time, when there is realisation, that all is in vain, the sadness, the sick worrying, the pained thoughts, and the lonely echos. All is in vain, when there isn't anything worth feeling sad about.
Sigh.
After a day of reading English Situational Writing scripts, I do feel a little wonky.
Africans give brith to white rhinos, and sell them to foreigners.
A young boy being ran over by a screaming frightened horde.
Students who enjoy torturing their teachers and princiPLE.
I become very confused after a day of marking, and i can see why teachers are usually a wonky insane bunch.
The staff room is an amazingly bitchy place, in an extremely funny way. Its fun.
------
The latest Australian Tourist Promotion Board's "Where the bLoody Hell are you!?" Advert.
It makes me laugh, and really makes me want to go to Australia.
We were talking about travelling today, and it struck me that a large minority of young adults want to and desire to back pack not because of the chic-ness (which has already worn off long long ago), but well, because of being bored, poor (broke), and educated young individuals who have seen past tourist traps... I applaud that.
------
I got a rude shock when i heard comments on television, by Dr Lee Boon Yang, the Cabinet Minister for Information, Communication and the Arts, and at the same time, the leader for the PAP team in the Jalan Besar Elections, actually said that he wanted to renovate the old Hawker centres in Chinatown (Infamous for its wonderfully authentic chinese hawker foods) into one that is accomodating for tourists!
Have we not learnt from the errors of Lau Pa Sat? Look at it now, instead of being a credible and food powerhouse, it has degenerated into a normal foodcourt for the shenton way executives! Nothing special! The original idea to turn it into a tourist trap had failed immensely. Shouldn't we be learning from our past mistakes?
Worse, the hawker centre is a cultural identity of Singapore. It is the centre of our meals, and the heart of our food culture. How can we allow a respectable hawker centre to be built in such a way to specially cater to foreigners?
We already have enough tourist traps in Chinatown that simply scream, "We Love Tourist Money!" (sure, we do!), do we need another non-authentic local scene that has been duly mutated to suit the tastes of foreign consumers? Are we sacrificing our food culture for the sake of tourist money? Most importantly, will tourists realise this Tourist Trap, and take pains to avoid eating there, which will result in another Lau Pa Sat?
--------
The situation has not improved. But i'm leaving it into the hands of G-d.. there isn't much I can do now, at this stage. I learnt yesterday, through all the sharing experiences that irregardless of the fatality of the situation, if it is meant to be, and if we are righteous and above-board in our doings, G-d will make a way.
Surely, the sadness, and the feelings stick, and they stick hard, but there comes a time, when there is realisation, that all is in vain, the sadness, the sick worrying, the pained thoughts, and the lonely echos. All is in vain, when there isn't anything worth feeling sad about.
Sigh.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Like my own..
A family is something that we all want to experience, at least once. Some of us never thought about this at all, as it comes so easily, like a given, like how Pi is 22/7 or the sun will always rise, from the east.
But there are some of us, who don't. Or at least, some, who did. It feels strange to be cast adrift, but when you're young, you never noticed that you were floating, in the wide open sea, being hit occasionally by driftwood.
It seems almost maniacal to only look back at everything that has happened only now, at this juncture, this crossroad, and realise that you have floated far from any coast, and is probably stuck, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. And there is this sick nauseous feeling, like feeling sea sick.
The worst of all is that those who cast you adrift, seem almost lackadaisal in feeling guilt, and simply do not realise what they do can and only will make things worse.
I'm 20, I have a conscience. I am conscious, I am educated, I can think, and I can discern. And those are, the greatest sins that I have ever ever committed. The sin of being. The sin of existing. The sin of I am.
Hate. would be an overly understated description. Anger. would be an overly understated feeling.
But there are some of us, who don't. Or at least, some, who did. It feels strange to be cast adrift, but when you're young, you never noticed that you were floating, in the wide open sea, being hit occasionally by driftwood.
It seems almost maniacal to only look back at everything that has happened only now, at this juncture, this crossroad, and realise that you have floated far from any coast, and is probably stuck, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. And there is this sick nauseous feeling, like feeling sea sick.
The worst of all is that those who cast you adrift, seem almost lackadaisal in feeling guilt, and simply do not realise what they do can and only will make things worse.
I'm 20, I have a conscience. I am conscious, I am educated, I can think, and I can discern. And those are, the greatest sins that I have ever ever committed. The sin of being. The sin of existing. The sin of I am.
Hate. would be an overly understated description. Anger. would be an overly understated feeling.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Kenna tagged mah.. so must write.
With response to your enquiries on how an english language teacher should behave. Screw off! haha
one of the girls said that i was the first teacher to use words like Kenna, Buay Tahan, and the whole lot of singlish patois during geography AND english lessons. Should i feel honoured? I just didn't want to be all prissy and act like an English Life Sized Prick.
Another said that i taught English as if it were a Literature Lesson.. but she liked it anyhow.
On my wish list for May 8th, a pair of grey pants, brown leather shoes/loafers, and 2 long sleeved pocketless wide-collared non-stripy shirts. I do not wish to be called a stripy person by mel lee ever. again.
----------------------------------------------------------
FOUR THINGS ABOUT ME
*tagged by Engtat the pantat*
FOUR JOBS I'VE DONE IN MY LIFE
1. tuition teacher
2. relief teacher
3. Deputy Ops Offr! yucks.
4. Erm... pornstar?
FOUR MOVIES THAT I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Love Actually
2. Mr Bean
3. Amelie Pourlain
4. The Butterfly
FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED
1. Gazimagusa, North Cyprus
2. Middle road (left when i was 2. no recollection at all)
3. Marine Parade.
4. Thats all
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH
1. Allo Allo
2. Absolutely Fabulous
3. Are you being Served?
4. Coupling (as you can see. i am an Anglomaniac)
FOUR PLACES THAT I'VE BEEN ON VACATION
1. Taipei! (sponsored by SAF)
2. China
3. Bali
4. Vatican City
FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT DAILY WHEN I'M ONLINE
1. Gmail.com
2. Dooce.com
3. nationalgeographic.com
4. i-love-hunky-gay-pron.com (just kidding.)
FOUR OF MY FAV FOOD
1. Bak Chor Mee
2. Pismaniye
3. Bak Kut teh
4. My mother's soups
FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE NOW
1. London
2. Florence
3. Kolkata
4. Bangkok
FOUR FRIENDS WHOM I'VE TAGGED AND THINK THEY WOULD RESPOND
1. Clement the Porn Star
2. Kongsy Yansy Pingsy
3. Angie Gee Nee Nee
4. Mary Mary Quite Contrary.
one of the girls said that i was the first teacher to use words like Kenna, Buay Tahan, and the whole lot of singlish patois during geography AND english lessons. Should i feel honoured? I just didn't want to be all prissy and act like an English Life Sized Prick.
Another said that i taught English as if it were a Literature Lesson.. but she liked it anyhow.
On my wish list for May 8th, a pair of grey pants, brown leather shoes/loafers, and 2 long sleeved pocketless wide-collared non-stripy shirts. I do not wish to be called a stripy person by mel lee ever. again.
----------------------------------------------------------
FOUR THINGS ABOUT ME
*tagged by Engtat the pantat*
FOUR JOBS I'VE DONE IN MY LIFE
1. tuition teacher
2. relief teacher
3. Deputy Ops Offr! yucks.
4. Erm... pornstar?
FOUR MOVIES THAT I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Love Actually
2. Mr Bean
3. Amelie Pourlain
4. The Butterfly
FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED
1. Gazimagusa, North Cyprus
2. Middle road (left when i was 2. no recollection at all)
3. Marine Parade.
4. Thats all
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE TO WATCH
1. Allo Allo
2. Absolutely Fabulous
3. Are you being Served?
4. Coupling (as you can see. i am an Anglomaniac)
FOUR PLACES THAT I'VE BEEN ON VACATION
1. Taipei! (sponsored by SAF)
2. China
3. Bali
4. Vatican City
FOUR WEBSITES I VISIT DAILY WHEN I'M ONLINE
1. Gmail.com
2. Dooce.com
3. nationalgeographic.com
4. i-love-hunky-gay-pron.com (just kidding.)
FOUR OF MY FAV FOOD
1. Bak Chor Mee
2. Pismaniye
3. Bak Kut teh
4. My mother's soups
FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE NOW
1. London
2. Florence
3. Kolkata
4. Bangkok
FOUR FRIENDS WHOM I'VE TAGGED AND THINK THEY WOULD RESPOND
1. Clement the Porn Star
2. Kongsy Yansy Pingsy
3. Angie Gee Nee Nee
4. Mary Mary Quite Contrary.
When poultry's pink, and the dish is empty.
Lenny just called. My previous Tennis coach. He is so darn nice.
Coincidentally, Steven asked if i wanted to start again with him. I thought about it, and well, since my back is fine and dandy now. I don't see why not!
Lenny was very nice. He asked after my back, and gave me sports tips on how to maintain it, strengthen it, and well.. make it better. great.
So. apparently, the daily swimming has a great role to play in getting my back in order.
Yay, i'm going start learning tennis from lenny again.
----
It was an absolutely delightful dinner. There were many thoughts during the dinner that i would love to share. Just that this blog is too often read by too many people who have good memories, and an all too alternative school of thought.
Rich people are not spunkily snobby. I can atest to that.
Coincidentally, Steven asked if i wanted to start again with him. I thought about it, and well, since my back is fine and dandy now. I don't see why not!
Lenny was very nice. He asked after my back, and gave me sports tips on how to maintain it, strengthen it, and well.. make it better. great.
So. apparently, the daily swimming has a great role to play in getting my back in order.
Yay, i'm going start learning tennis from lenny again.
----
It was an absolutely delightful dinner. There were many thoughts during the dinner that i would love to share. Just that this blog is too often read by too many people who have good memories, and an all too alternative school of thought.
Rich people are not spunkily snobby. I can atest to that.
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