Consider it done.

There are many things that I have not yet done, and am procrastinating. More often then not, it will leave me anxious, and worried, and aching all over.. bUt somehow. i'm just lazy. I have no idea why.

so much so i can find time to rummage through my cupboards and throw away old clothes, eat an ice cream, and sit around, listening to the music. I feel more then my fair share of disgust against myself. I was never like that.

Something happened after the army. And its the laze bug. I no longer feel obliged to be accountable to you you and you. I no longer feel tied down to work responsibilities.

I don't feel the need to meet deadlines, I just want to be free. care free. for once. Before school starts all over again.

I went to see the Coffee bean lady today.. and I have decided not to take the job. Simply because, well, i don't feel at all that this is what i want to do, and it felt more like whim then anything else.

Moreover, the pay is ridiculous, i'm fine and dandy without that extra 200 odd bucks, its insane i tell you, 4 bucks an hour is insane.

Anyway, the point is, that i think i am beggining to come to terms with money. LIke well.. money grows on tree doesn't it?

haha

Can't wait to leave. Like as in, to go to UK.. i'm not excited about it or anything. But i just want to leave. Like go. just go.

So much more things to do, stories to end, chapters to close, people to meet, books to read, cupboards to pack, boxes to rummage. Sigh.

All ends a well through fare.

later.

Lethargy? Its been a long time.

Its been a long time since i felt lethargic doing anything. Life in the past few months has been relatively colorful and fun enough to dispel any remnant of lethargy from the army.

But this week has been a rather lethargic week.

I skipped Tennis on monday because i felt woozy from my not very cooperative tooth. I was late for log packing yesterday because i woke up UBER late, and had to rush some stuff b4 going out. And today. I fell asleep while waiting for the rain to stop 4 me to go for tennis. So i didn't go tennis. Again.

Sigh.

Sorry steven. :(

My lack of discipline has caused alarm. within myself. I need to be return to being disciplined again. Argh.

Royally annoyed.

What a royal pain in the ass.

You owe me 130 freaking bucks for like 6 farking months, and everytime i message you to remind you gently, you simply ignore it. It was my mistake to have evern entrusted you with that money. Everytime you tell me you're fucking broke i smile and say its ok, you can pay me back at the next pay day.

Well thats because i was never fricking royally broke until now. And now. I WANT MY MONEY BACK, and yes. i'm fucking royally broke. And You jsut got your fricking REGULAR SAF pay.

Lets not even start discussing your fucked-up work attitude. Everyone HATES you. Even I, the freaking most fiercest ass in the unit have to tolerate you, just because the fucker of our boss thinks you're a fucking genius!

DAMMIT!

YOU'RE JUST A FRICKING RETARD!

Now, I am blardy pissed beyond all measures, and 20 friggin bucks to launch this case into the small claims tribunals will seem like a fricking good idea at this point in time.

I am giving you one last blardy chance. Pay up. or else.
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The pay at coffee bean is like. minimal. It is a QUARTER of the british minimum wage. Brilliant aren't we. Now. What are we going to do. To accept it.. or not. hmm..


On the sidenote, As of the above entry, I am very broke. Thanks to CPF. Dammmit.

Haven't we been there before?

What is this feeling? Unlike deja vu. Unlike any other similar reactions we have had.

It was like the same apologetic thought. The reason why it drizzles, because the heavens couldn't decide. The reason why flowers drop. Because they're too shy of their own beauty.

The words resounded from somewhere, not too far away. The same words that made you grew quick witted, G-d centered and empathic. This time, you only could be wary.

But what else is there?

There seems to be a hint of cherry amongst the plums. Sweetness amongst the saltiness.

The air wasn't that bad afterall.

Haven't we been there before?

I recognised that eagerness. It frightened me the last time. I wondered deeply what was its source. It couldn't be found. Neither could we be. We can't be found.

Lost in a sphere, in a small space, yet apart, eagerly waiting, waiting for the next floating orb.

You jump when you see one.

Haven't we been there before?

You thirst and hunger, sing poems and sweet songs, smile at every word, and make promises of nothingness. Everything seemed ok then. Everything seemed fine.

We've been there before.
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