Too hot on the pot.

I'm nervous as hell. The phrase " JESUS I TRUST IN YOU " rings in my head like a nutter. I'm dying. Seriously. Screwed over the cream for the cupcakes. And all i can say now is JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU.

All I can do now is light my JESUS I TRUST IN YOU candle, and pray fervently that everything will be OK.

WHY am I such a pessimist!?

I actually had so much to write about... so many inspirations. The nazi maid, old new neighbour, etc etc.. and my mind is currently preoccupied with the words. JESUS I TRUST IN YOU!

Went to the british council pre-depart session today. Interesting. Met people going to Manchester. Got many freebies. And useless brochures that i'll throw away anyway. And signed up for one too many stuff. Frightened about the prospect of living in Manchester alone. And all I can say is JESUS I TRUST IN YOU.

I feel abit Psychotic.

JESUS I TRUST IN YOU!

I'm just confused and scared.

JESUS I TRUST IN YOU!

Just before i get dragged out by my hair and burnt at stake for my heretical styled shouting that could be taken as mockery,

JESUS I TRUST IN YOU!

I'm having a headache.: (

Yes. I'm having a headache. Its been a long time since I had a headache. I think its my glasses. I want to sue my optician for giving me too high a prescription for my glasses. But that was 2 years ago. so yay. New glasses coming in tommorow. Yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay.

money running low. : (

I did a very concise calculation of where all my money went this month. And its all for causes. And all I can say is that, it is very hard to live comfortably with our meagre pays in singapore. : (

ms chia made ching ting today. It was delicious. I had cup after cup after cup after cup of ching ting. A great reprieve from a hot summer day. And so it turns out, she used to live on the 19th floor above me!

The first thing she said to me this morning was: "I somehow always think that i've seen you as a very young boy". Haha.. and so it seems, its true.. she's seen me as a young kid.. like when i was 5 or 6. :P

Headache. Money problems. aiyo. so many things. Visa costs bloody 260! so angry. : (

Complete in you.

I have a very big ulcer. The last time I had a big ulcer, something catastrophic happened. Its always a bad omen for me to have ulcers. Its like.. I dunno.

I was late for LISS last night though i sped.. Overslept lah. And when i got there.. they were already half way though worship. Thankfully.. there was instant PnW for me when they sang Complete. It still rings in my head more then a month after sec2 camp. Or isit because its in my iPod?.. hm.

Looked at laptops in the newspaper today. And quite perplexed over what to get. Samsung? HP? IBM? I think i wanna IBM? Dun tell me Macbook.. I think practicality won the leg of the race.

Tuition. Sigh. Sharing. Dunno if should sigh. but yeah. Sigh also. School. Sigh. Its a whole deadly routine cycle. Where's my eternal glory? : (

A dot in the centre.

No matter how much I try, there is just not going to be a meeting point right in the centre with some people. You just have to give in all the way, just to avoid arguments or give yourself extra labour. Fine. You win. whatever you say is right. I hate it when conversations are like that. We might as well not have conversations.

I thought to myself this evening, that i should probably pick painting up. Because i certainly have lost the knack of writing descriptive pieces that evoke a palette of colors. And, i've not been reading much recently. Largely chrisitan literature.. No Kundera, no Homer, no whatever whatever from wherever wherever.. Sad.

"One Holy Catholic, Apostolic and Alcoholic Church".. That was a total lamer. I couldn't stop laughing after Fr Edmund said that. I couldn't believe he said that either. He's very lame. But the talk was good.

So many things to share and think about. So little time. Our irreverent and miniscule lives are only a small speck in contrast to the wave of wonders and magnitude of the large galaxy of the creation of the Almighty Father.

On hindsight.. when the talk started, I couldn't help but feel a great desire to go for confession. I felt dirty, I felt unworthy, I felt.. I dunno. lost. It was spiritual warfare 1-0-1 and I won the first round. Or rather, Jesus won the first round. Jesus 1 Satan 0. hurrah.

I must persevere, only 48 more days to go. Only 48 more days in Singapore. It feels weird. I never thought this day would come.

Is justice imperative?

Well. I doubt it is an imperative if i have the love to forgive the person who sinned against me. Afterall,

"Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us."

Was it vengeance or was it liberation?

"When i saw the mass graves and suffering, i felt obligated"
--(US Marine soldier)

Was it a political or economical issue? (Iraq has more oil then Sudan?)

"Where are the Americans?"
--(Sudanese civillians in a banter)

Sudan is still undergoing interior problems such as mass genocides and extreme poverty due to improper, inefficient, corrupt governing by human rights abusers. Whats Saddam Hussein compared to them? Because they can't hurt America like Saddam can? But Saddam doens't have any WMD!? So should we invade N. Korea? Should we invade China? Just because they have WMD? What about America? Should N Korea invade America because America has WMD that can wipe N Korea out, and they're enemies? Then should Saddam have invaded America in self-defense? Oh please. America, ShUTTup already. You're making yourselves sound stuppendous.

A God-less nation that preaches the anti-gospel, "Destruction breeds Creation".