I don't want to go to school.

I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school.

You don't have to be on your own.

What do you do when He sends you mixed messages?

"Jesus looked straight at him with love and said, "You need only one ting. go and sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven; then come and follow me." Mark 10 vs21

"If one of you wants to be great, you must be the servant of the rest; and if one of you wants to be first, you must be the slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served; he came to serve and give his life to redeem many people." Mark 10 vs 43-45

"He purifies people from their sins, and both he and those who are made pure all have the same Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them his FAMILY." Heb 2 vs 10

Oh my Lord, I am so lost, I really don't know what to do or listen, or think, and all I can do is to offer my all in all to you.

"I have called you by your name and you are mine." Isaiah 43.

Oh no.. He called my name, and its inscribed in eternity.. that means He can't stop calling my name! Alamak!

Why can't I see my feet?

-------------

I just found out that somebody I know is gay, and a very active gay pub going kind of gay. Well, I did kinda expect that. But when I told another friend about it, I also told her I felt rather admonished that I feel ashamed of him. I dunno what leads me to feeling ashamed, but I don't think its the right reaction.

I don't think its for us mere humans to judge whether anyone on earth has done right or wrong in the Law of Life, or the Commandments of God, its for Him to judge, yet at the same time, I find it hard not to frown or express shock in such ejaculations of fearful and sinful truth.

I'm not pure or sinless myself. I do dabble in sins from time to time, well, especially when you put a nice bottle of Dom Perignon or Moet and Chandon, or Ponsardin infront of me. I would assume that the whole bottle belongs to me. AND ME ONLY. I don't remember anyone else having such a big obsession for all drinks that sparkle at the bar. : P

Come to think of it, a nice bottle of Veuve cliquot ponsardin will make me feel much better now. haha.

Its moments like this that make me think that i'm a hypocrite.

I didn't go for the Geology student's society's social as planned. I was just too hungry to even bother. I cooked nice food today, and Guan (my malaysian flatmate) cooked TO DIE FOR curry. Even in a Singapore setting, it would have been to die for.

Take this down, I want 10 packets of Adabi brand's Perencah Rendang... the ready made rempah, + 10 packets of instant santan. haha..

I've come to the conclusion that the orang putih occupants and the orang cina occupants of this flat will possibly never been on common conversational terms. I dunno why. The food culture alone is already like. wah liew super super different. The orang cinas very hardworking. always cooking, always cleaning always studying.. the orang putihs.. sigh.. everyday eat curry or pizza, or some kind of instant microwave dish, and they never clean up. And we offer them food they dun want. too bad lor.

Things are a little different in school.. where i hang with the orang putihs more then the orang cinas or orang melayus.. wait. There ain't any orang cinas in school!! Only got orang putihs and orang melayu.

Aiya. hang out with orang utan the best lah.

He sez..

Does it matter what anyone says about anything these days? Surely it breaks our bones or breaks our heart, but isn't there always a cause, a reason to believe that everything will one day be greener, prettier, and you'll laugh like the sun again?

And He will make you shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm, of His hands.

don't fret easter bunny. everything will be alright.
-----------------------

Rita. don't make so much noise. You could be next on the "to-be-humiliated-on-jason's-blog" list.

Weiyan. Dun be mean. Later ur sister send me pictures of u then u know. And my students are not in love with me. A levels this year hor? study hard ah. Up and On!

Litong. And we played make fun of the transverstite too, if you ever considered it a game.

Cher. People smoke weed here. Will never try it. But i'm sure you can buy it from your friendly local mama shop. If in doubt, just ask Weishan. Wheres Weishan you ask? Follow the voice cher, follow the voice.

Hwee. I hope your sugar candy bags are still producing candies ;). haha
-------------

Today got Malaysian society food fare, so happy, went with the bruneians to makan. Ate Nasi Lemak and Laksa.. i think that was the happiest moment i ever had since coming to UK.

Helda asked me in a sane manner if i was going for the Jom Puasa (foodfare) later.. and I told her i wouldn't miss it for ANYTHING in the world. It lived up to my expectations. I sobbed tears of joy when i sipped the beautifully crafted laksa sauce, and licked the mesmerizing sambal belachan. Oh how i miss Singapore.

Met nearly the whole world minus my angmoh friends there.. none of my angmoh friends wanted to come. I think they scared hot. They can't even eat Tesco's curry lah. losers.

I lost my jacket outside the lib when melch called me.. i was too mang chang to notice. When i walked back to look for it, i couldn't find it anymore. It wasn't an expensive jacket, but it had good memories, as in, i had it since i was 15, and its still in a very good condition. Goodbye my jacket. Forever.

Went to Arndale and slipped into HnM with chungpeng to see if i can find a coat/jacket i would like. Dun have my size. weep. Today's not my day.

Got essay to write. Sian zi bua. I know jack shit about industrial minerals man. I hope i pass.

My tutor thought that my first language was chinese, and was shocked when he first heard me speak fluent and accentless and articulate english. Singapore rocks.

Ok. Chen Weishan is NOT a freak.

For your own discussion.

The girl on the left is Chen Weishan. The cute guy on the right is me.

The picture is abit grainy cus it was scanned. At that time, not everyone could afford a digital camera, and everything was on 35mm films. So boys and girls, please be appreciative of what you have today. At that time, we didn't even have camera phones. I'm freaking serious.

That picture was taken at a time when Weishan was pretty much behaving normally (under the influence of prozac, the anti-depressents, or when she smoked weed).

These are the times when she forgot to take her medicine, and we'd find her sitting alone on the track staring forlornly at the green grass wishing she was frolicking on it with her beloved. WAYNE KO.

I'm sorry Sharn if people think you're insane because of this post. But maybe u are.

And who is Wayne Ko you ask? Here he is! WAYNE SHAN'S LOVER. Like HELMUT CHEN KO WAYNE SHAN. Woopy doo!


Yeah.. those were the days huH? Wayne just walked away without saying much after the photo. I bet he was happy anyway. And shan couldn't stop blushing. She was so happy, she didn't need weed or prozac for 24 hours! What an achievement! But 2 days later... We saw our poor tormented friend sitting alone in the lower Cafe.

Staring forlornly at Hazel and Jevon, who were minding their own business, trying not to get in the way of Shan's view of the council room, where Wayne presides. Poor girl.










And how can i ever forget Hui.. the provider of blackouts and sugar candied bags?

She too is on weed and prozac. at the same time.

Who is magneto's best friend?

Sorry Weishan. But I was just reading my old JC journal entries, and I just could not stop laughing at all the hilarious things we did in JC.

Hui tripped the School circuit board and caused a 5 minute black out 3 years ago on 13 May 2003. That was one of the most memorable moments. Ever.

And if you are reading this, shan. I couldn't find a nice pic of u and me. I suppose this would do fine. See, no one wants to talk to the Magneto's best friend.

Feeling very lazy.. and despairish. Yeah. its probably the male time of the month. As i was walking back, I couldn't help but reflect on St John of the Cross's writings on Dark Nights of the Soul. I could only wonder, if i am going through one. It seems as though that is the case sometimes.

Had a nice talk with V on the bus on the way to church, it felt good to know that someone else in Manchester cares more about God and Jesus, and the whole church thing, more then shopping, and alcohol, and everything else evil.

Slightly more interesting week ahead. Speleology on wednesday evening, sharing on thursday, international night at the chaplaincy on friday. Try to find work on tuesday.

Whenever I am introduced to somebody, who is from New creation church, i just go. Oh.

you know. the Oh. then silence. yah. that Oh.

I can't help but feel bad for having stereotype for a church who sells its pastor more then Jesus. and I mean sell, like real money sell. Oops. There I go again.