I'm blogging more. It means i'm bored.

The girls upstairs are having a party. Very noisy. I hope they're not noisy when i get back. Drunken people. They're always drunken anyway. They think its fun, funny, whatever. I used to think it was fun/funny/whatever, until i grew old/jaded/cynical. So i had my fun already when i was 19/20/20.5 now approaching 21, getting pissed drunk isn't on my agenda no more.

This is (albeit) the first weekend I'm not away in erm.. 3 weeks? And it was weird yesterday when i was just sitting here.. in my room.. refusing to go out because it was raining, and i don't like rain.

Jo (my flatmate) sarcastically asked me how i liked the weather here.. and i instinctively motioned a sign so vulgar that is inconceivable to have been hatched out of my mind. Yes, I abhor the weather here.

It rains sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't. When it rains, it pisses, it doesn't rain rain like singapore rain, but it pisses, like want to rain don't want to rain kind. The skies here are indecisive. And when it rains, it doesn't stop. So it has non stop pissing rain.

When it doesn't rain, its freeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing cold. LIke 6 degs in the day, and -1 at night. Scarves and gloves, and a wool and a coat REALLY ISN'T ENOUGH for my warm asian body.

Which justifies my purchase of a Fan heater from Argos. I decided to name it, but haven't decided on a name yet.

I is very the miserable when it rains here. Because i refuse. to. carry. an. umbrella.

I'm going to Liverpool tommorow.

Can't wait for camping.

Discovered the Joy Of iTunes, and the Joy Of Amazon.co.uk. Bought new songs and a new book. Argos doesn't seem that exciting anymore.
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Ok. just got back from just 2 rounds of drinks. It was V's bday. So not drinking for nothing ok.

Anyway, in this state of slight inebriation, it feels as thought i could just sit here and stare at the wall, while imagining that George Baker's Little Green Bag is playing over and over and over again.

It makes me think. This slight little bit of inebriation. Because it makes you think of things that you never thought about before. Yet, whatever that you allow in your mind to affect you, can actually reflect how strong your mind is, and how deep your faith is.

Somehow, i found myself asking this question: Is there anyone that i can forsee to live the rest of my life with. With much dispaired head shakes, 2 names surface, and one of them, could really bring the curtain of dread over your or my head.

And that name's God.

Well, it ain't that bad right? I could get hitched to name number 1, and God can still be at the centre of my mind.. but now..

The question is, am I ready to be the salt and the light of the world?

I remember the Commisioning mass for the charismatic thingy.. and when we were presented with the candle, salt and bible, we were told to BE the light, salt, and spread the word of God to the world.

I ask myself truthfully, can I still be that light and salt while drinking?

I never ever thought drinking was a vice, I never thought it affected the clarity of my mind.. of course, it did, but i never let it gain control of me (or so I think)..

But today, I beginning if that moment, this evening, and all the previous evenings and moments were a vice. (pt no 1: I think i'm getting old).. I thought back about them, and seriously, other then the evenings with AA, i would label the rest as vices. See.. AA better be proud.

And yeah.. like that lor. I dunno lah. I don't think its a vice.. unless you count the company you're with. I don't like it when it becomes a vice though. I don't like smoking. I am very sure it harms the body, thus a anti-christian principle, besides, it makes you smell.

Yeah. I'm hooked on Little Green Bag. Get hooked with me.

(no melchen, little green bag is not a marc jacobs/balenciaga/chloe/lousi vuitton bag.)

In part, in whole, and in everything you are to me.

Sharing yesterday was very fruitful.

I realised that our sharing sessions are ENTIRELY made up of foreigners, Me, Singaporean, Clare, fellow PhD Singaporean, Sylvain, PhD French, Noami, ugrd French, Tomone, Masters Jap, Sr Kevina, Irish, and these 2 new other guys that just joined us yesterday, from chile and the USA.

They're all like so smart. and that makes Bible sharing rather interesting..

We were talking about youth ministry in the diocese (salford diocese) today.. and well, we concur that it pales very much in comparison with Leeds or Liverpool, whose youth ministries and youth are very very much alive and vibrant.. I feel sad for the diocese.

On walking home.. it seemed that the idea of forming a PnW group 30 mins before mass seems like a good idea! we could have it in the chaplaincy, with a piano, guitar and a projector screen! Seemes simple enough, if only we could find people to play. sigh.

Naomi was very excited when i uttered the word, Charismatic. I dunno why. I think she misses it. like i do.

Its not fair that Liverpool and Leeds gets a great vibrant catholic youth scene, and we're stuck in a rut here in Manchester. Something. Must. Be. Done.

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I was reading some mail.. and Melch said: " Go to argos and buy a BLOWER and it will be your best friend all winter!!"

Hm... blower... blow what??? hee.

The real world isn't meant for me.

So I'll keep dreaming..

This is my dream christmas gift. Init beautiful?

Been listening lots and lots of music courtesy of Pandora and 3Hive. Both of which has the snazziest music around.

And if i didn't mention before, 3hive was an initiative that Heather's husband, the one who wears clogs, is working on. So. The both of 'em don't do no work, and all they do all day is teach their little 33 month old kid how to murder and say blasphemous things.

yeah. 33 month old kid sounds a little like 33 year old kid huh.

And I'm 21. soon. woopy doo.

Another day of trash.

So won't you talk to me again?

I just don't know how to express this.

I'm feeling a whole lot of shit feelings. Stuff thats gotta do with people at home. Issues i've to deal with. My Life Vocation that God is sending me mixed signals about. My fulfilment and spiritual purpose here in Manchester (other then studying)..

Yet. I wanna praise God for the fantastic friends He has given me back home 13000 miles away, and all the beautiful opportunities He has given me here in Manchester.
I dunno what to say or do. But all i can say is.... You are the way, the truth and the life...

I've been reading Fr Aloy's blog.. and somehow.. a priestly life doesn't seem like such a bad idea afterall? hmm..........................................................................................................
don't read too much into it.

Dreaming about the days gone by..

Recently, I've been having weird dreams.. Dreams of things that have happened in the past few months.

Irrelevant things to everything around me now. Camp, Retreat, working in SAC, ORDing, Family, Friends. Odd init?

I've developed a habit to say init, and cheers. I feel so chavvy.

Feeling; Stoned.

What I study.

I study this.

I look at this in the microscope.
And I see this,

or this.

Remember remember the Fifth of November....

Gunpowder, Treason and Plot!

Just some quick thoughts on the Weekend away..

The countryside was stunning as usual. Met a few new friends, and got to know some people like Emma and Shumei much much better.

The whole idea was a good one. It reminded me of days in MSC. Without tearing the whole retreat apart, I'd just settle with the explanation that it was not as spiritual as I would have expected it to be, but at the same time, i think it was very relaxing to go out to the country once in a while.

During the retreat, I actually had an epiphany, a little clue of what was to come in the future. Dun tell u. keep u in suspense.

But yeah.. One of the messages that God had for me during my meditation was pretty weird, He actually told me not to go into youth ministry. And i'm like. Huh. dun go into youth ministry then go where sia?

Ok. Anyway.. more about 5th of November, or Bonfire night, or Guy Fawkes night.. That catholic guy who tried to blow up the parliament 400 years ago today. So cool huh!

We lit a bonfire and set off fireworks, and watched the other villages and townships nearby light their bonfires and fireworks!

Of course today, we don't celebrate Guy Fawkes night to curse the catholics, but more of a fun thing. heh.

I'll be celebrating my own persecution then. heh.

It is really nice though to watch the fireworks from my room here.. haha..

In UK. its legal to buy and set ur own fireworks! so cool huh..