1) Natwest deducted 5 pounds from my account for dunno what shit, and added it into my Credit Card Account. I think they think I haven't paid my credit card bills yet, which i did.
2) My pay is wrong. I am only being paid 5 hours of work in Costas for the work i did 2 weeks ago. I am supposed to receive 12 hours worth of money.
3) Money is flying out of my wallet like nobody's business. My apparent 150quid spare has almost disappeared; 34 pounds to christmas gifts, 54 pounds for my bus pass next term, 38 pounds for that STUPID deduction made by freaking lousy natwest.
I am very depressed and miserable. Don't think I've ever been this low before.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Cha'ah flooded!!
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Yep. Thats Cha'ah. Yes. Thats fair weathered Cha'ah from pictures I took when I last went back last year in June.
Its flooded.
Just got off the phone with my mum, and the beloved little village that I spent alot of my childhood in is pretty much almost washed up with waters raging waist high. My aunt and uncle are busying trying to move the furniture away to the rooms with higher grounds. Yes. we have such rooms just in case of flooding.
And the red car you see is parked somewhere on the other side of the village where its higher.
Worse, no one can get in or out of the village because the only 2 ways in, are totally blocked by the floods.
Although my mum had some amusing stories about floating 'tu di' (earth diety) and what not.. It is indeed sad that the little subsisting village is devasted by the worst floods in 50 bloody years.
I remember when I was very little, and there was a heavy bout of rain. Yet.. the floods were never that bad.
Apparently a car got swept into the river, and 3 kids in it died, but the parents managed to escape.
Horrendous things these natural disasters.
I actually dreamed about it last night! my oh my..
I had another weird dream in between.. I dreamt that I was having this conversation with this lady, I have no idea who is she, where she's from or anything. And there she was askign to be let into my house. Of course I said no. Very queer, and I could almost imagine her incessantly knocking on the door with the knocker!!
The next morning, I understood why she was asking me to let her in! It was sodding raining outside!
Weird dreams.
In the second dream I had, I dreamt of Cha'ah, and I dreamt that I went with 2 friends, I shan't name them.. but it was weird.. I was on some long road trip or something, and we went to live in my auntie's house for a few days then went on to go to Seremban near KL, and Ipoh.. WEIRD dreams totally.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
10 reasons why I hate kids.
1) They are very noisy.
2) They are very noisy.
3) They are very noisy.
4) They are very noisy.
5) They are very noisy.
6) They are very noisy.
7) They are very noisy.
8) They are very noisy.
9) They are very noisy.
10) They are very noisy.
This is probably a good reason why I should be a priest huh.
2) They are very noisy.
3) They are very noisy.
4) They are very noisy.
5) They are very noisy.
6) They are very noisy.
7) They are very noisy.
8) They are very noisy.
9) They are very noisy.
10) They are very noisy.
This is probably a good reason why I should be a priest huh.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I actually read Velocity as Velo-city.
So smart huh.
I did more not so smart things today too. Like lazing around watching teevee instead of studying, and reading nonsensical information off wikipedia. Yes, instead of studying.
I don't think I will be working this holidays, I just don't really have the drive to. I could really do with the spare cash.. who wouldn't! The point is, I just feel very coerced.
Not that I am being forced into doing anything at all, but I jsut don't really like how th feeling goes.
I have a steady job in manchester, that pays alright. Not fantastically well, but definitely enough for me to survive well. (and go to sainsbury's instead of tescos, and still have money to shop for things like clothes, and at the same time, maintain an average of 80% for all my tests. : D)
So life, I guess, is pretty much gooood. I think. Theres nothing much to complain about.
Just that when I think of the frivolity of people around me, it makes me stick out so much.
It seems like people are 'experiencing' life, and I am already 'living' life.
Take a simple example.
Being 21, I have already gone to work, and am working part time while studying. I have managed to be 90% financially independent for the past 3 years, i say 90% because I am discounting all the times i forget to draw money and have to borrow money from my mum first, and never return. oops..
I had great pains coming back to university, because it has been a good while since I studied, and I really felt that it was an UTTER pain to be under dependency again.
It has to be a fact, that no matter how hard i work, and how many hours I put in here, I simply cannot afford to pay my own school fees and lodgings. The most I could do is pay for myown expenses. And that sucks to live under the knowledge that you are living on someone's money. Even if that someone is your mother, or sister.. it still sucks.
I was brought up this way, I don't get ANYTHING I want, I have to earn it most of the time, or sometimes, I don't even get it, because I can't do anything about it. So i learnt to keep my desires or wishes to myself, even when there is opportunity that I could get it without spending my own money.
Its this act of deprivation that I have got to learn to dispose myself of.
Oh yes, back to the Experiencing life, and Living life topic.
Living life therefore, is having the full knowledge of reality, that being able to go to an overseas university as a Singaporean, or even, an ASIAN puts you in the top 1% of our region's population. Not only full knowledge, but realisation that this IS the case, and therefore, you are realistically inclined towards your own financial disposition, the realities of social life, and the the overture of the neccessity of the future. That is Living Life.
Experiencing life, is knowing that you are one of the 30,000 students residing in the City of Manchester, with an inanimate amount of overdraft, or cash from mummy and daddy, and also, access to the most provocative and prolific nightlife cities in the whole of the United Kingdom. That gives you the option, choice, as a matter of fact, disposes you towards that direction, in so much that you dwell without the knowledge that money is earned through blood, and sweat.
I admire many of my friends, I won't be shy and I'll start naming names here, I admire very much people like JT, Emma, Mark, Chloe, Yee, Lucy, people who have the ability to live happily and comfortably if they just fell back on their parents, but they didn't. They work, and they act responsibly. They might have other reasons for working, but substantially, I can see the difference in them.
I'm not saying that every university student should be working part time, but I particularly admire them because there isn't a hint of worldliness in these people. They have every single right, more rights then any of us in UoMancr to spend money frivolously like we do (on clothes, alcohol and fancy stuff), but the thing is, they don't. They are either younger then me, or same aged as I am. And that makes me proud to be in their company.
So what has all these things gotto do with me not wanting to work for the holidays? I don't know, its just my spoilt self protruding out of my exterior of nonchalance, saying very drastically Fuck It, I definitely can survive with the money in my account. Why the hell should I work!? It sounds spoilt, no, it IS spoilt.
Maybe the real world isn't what my take is on what it is, maybe it is something else to you, maybe its High Street Fashion to you, but the realism strikes hard when I realise that I am only 1 of Singapore's 2000 students studying overseas, and that makes me affluently the top 1% of our population. And what am I doing about this empowerment? Nothing, nothing at all. I feel ashamed.
Take this as an attack on Consumerism.
A second thing that has been bugging me was when Yee said abruptly when we were clearing dishes in Costas where I work. She said in cantonese:" Its funny how we will never be doing such jobs in our own country."
It is indeed funny considering she was a sales advisor for 2 good years, and I was well, in the army, and then a substitute teacher. And here we are, getting our hand soiled, taking orders from customers, and more interestingly, making coffee.
Its funny how I reflect on things like that, and realise what a big influence this will have on my own life, on the experiences of talking to co-workers on what they think about working, about what made them stop studying, and about stories.
Its not about my ego or anything, though I have to admit, sometimes it is, and sometimes I feel like screaming, I am way above this, I am a freaking university student, better then all of the darn full time staff. But I don't, and I chide myself for ever thinking such a horrendous thought, simply because, as the saying goes, Shou3 ting2 Kou3 Ting2, when the hands stop working, the mouth stops eating.
Indeed it never fails to amaze me how our experiences so beautifully interconnects with everything that surrounds us, and so consciously make the deciding factor on who we want to be friends with, what we want to do in our lives, and what we do with whatever empowerment we have.
From my own side of the story, it amazes me to realise what a damned different person I was when I was in the army, comfortably sitting my chair, being 'part' of the action, making me such a bloody obsessed workaholic and at the same time, a bigot in my own right. It amazes me how thus far I've come to who I am today, just a year ago.
Take this, as a confession from a bigot.
I did more not so smart things today too. Like lazing around watching teevee instead of studying, and reading nonsensical information off wikipedia. Yes, instead of studying.
I don't think I will be working this holidays, I just don't really have the drive to. I could really do with the spare cash.. who wouldn't! The point is, I just feel very coerced.
Not that I am being forced into doing anything at all, but I jsut don't really like how th feeling goes.
I have a steady job in manchester, that pays alright. Not fantastically well, but definitely enough for me to survive well. (and go to sainsbury's instead of tescos, and still have money to shop for things like clothes, and at the same time, maintain an average of 80% for all my tests. : D)
So life, I guess, is pretty much gooood. I think. Theres nothing much to complain about.
Just that when I think of the frivolity of people around me, it makes me stick out so much.
It seems like people are 'experiencing' life, and I am already 'living' life.
Take a simple example.
Being 21, I have already gone to work, and am working part time while studying. I have managed to be 90% financially independent for the past 3 years, i say 90% because I am discounting all the times i forget to draw money and have to borrow money from my mum first, and never return. oops..
I had great pains coming back to university, because it has been a good while since I studied, and I really felt that it was an UTTER pain to be under dependency again.
It has to be a fact, that no matter how hard i work, and how many hours I put in here, I simply cannot afford to pay my own school fees and lodgings. The most I could do is pay for myown expenses. And that sucks to live under the knowledge that you are living on someone's money. Even if that someone is your mother, or sister.. it still sucks.
I was brought up this way, I don't get ANYTHING I want, I have to earn it most of the time, or sometimes, I don't even get it, because I can't do anything about it. So i learnt to keep my desires or wishes to myself, even when there is opportunity that I could get it without spending my own money.
Its this act of deprivation that I have got to learn to dispose myself of.
Oh yes, back to the Experiencing life, and Living life topic.
Living life therefore, is having the full knowledge of reality, that being able to go to an overseas university as a Singaporean, or even, an ASIAN puts you in the top 1% of our region's population. Not only full knowledge, but realisation that this IS the case, and therefore, you are realistically inclined towards your own financial disposition, the realities of social life, and the the overture of the neccessity of the future. That is Living Life.
Experiencing life, is knowing that you are one of the 30,000 students residing in the City of Manchester, with an inanimate amount of overdraft, or cash from mummy and daddy, and also, access to the most provocative and prolific nightlife cities in the whole of the United Kingdom. That gives you the option, choice, as a matter of fact, disposes you towards that direction, in so much that you dwell without the knowledge that money is earned through blood, and sweat.
I admire many of my friends, I won't be shy and I'll start naming names here, I admire very much people like JT, Emma, Mark, Chloe, Yee, Lucy, people who have the ability to live happily and comfortably if they just fell back on their parents, but they didn't. They work, and they act responsibly. They might have other reasons for working, but substantially, I can see the difference in them.
I'm not saying that every university student should be working part time, but I particularly admire them because there isn't a hint of worldliness in these people. They have every single right, more rights then any of us in UoMancr to spend money frivolously like we do (on clothes, alcohol and fancy stuff), but the thing is, they don't. They are either younger then me, or same aged as I am. And that makes me proud to be in their company.
So what has all these things gotto do with me not wanting to work for the holidays? I don't know, its just my spoilt self protruding out of my exterior of nonchalance, saying very drastically Fuck It, I definitely can survive with the money in my account. Why the hell should I work!? It sounds spoilt, no, it IS spoilt.
Maybe the real world isn't what my take is on what it is, maybe it is something else to you, maybe its High Street Fashion to you, but the realism strikes hard when I realise that I am only 1 of Singapore's 2000 students studying overseas, and that makes me affluently the top 1% of our population. And what am I doing about this empowerment? Nothing, nothing at all. I feel ashamed.
Take this as an attack on Consumerism.
A second thing that has been bugging me was when Yee said abruptly when we were clearing dishes in Costas where I work. She said in cantonese:" Its funny how we will never be doing such jobs in our own country."
It is indeed funny considering she was a sales advisor for 2 good years, and I was well, in the army, and then a substitute teacher. And here we are, getting our hand soiled, taking orders from customers, and more interestingly, making coffee.
Its funny how I reflect on things like that, and realise what a big influence this will have on my own life, on the experiences of talking to co-workers on what they think about working, about what made them stop studying, and about stories.
Its not about my ego or anything, though I have to admit, sometimes it is, and sometimes I feel like screaming, I am way above this, I am a freaking university student, better then all of the darn full time staff. But I don't, and I chide myself for ever thinking such a horrendous thought, simply because, as the saying goes, Shou3 ting2 Kou3 Ting2, when the hands stop working, the mouth stops eating.
Indeed it never fails to amaze me how our experiences so beautifully interconnects with everything that surrounds us, and so consciously make the deciding factor on who we want to be friends with, what we want to do in our lives, and what we do with whatever empowerment we have.
From my own side of the story, it amazes me to realise what a damned different person I was when I was in the army, comfortably sitting my chair, being 'part' of the action, making me such a bloody obsessed workaholic and at the same time, a bigot in my own right. It amazes me how thus far I've come to who I am today, just a year ago.
Take this, as a confession from a bigot.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Consistent abomination.
The only thing that I hate most is not being able to decide what I want to do. To be indecisive.
As much as I would like to, my dream is to sit in the patio, under a warm baking sun, with a nice chilled beer and a good book to read.
Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is, my room is not the patio, English weather is no where near warm, or baking, or bloody hell! where the F is the sun! and neither is the Principles of Geology a smashing good read!
On the contrary, the idea of having to lull around all day, not make any coffee for any grimy customers, or clear dishes for 5.35 quids an hour, or rush around on chores for anything at all, is a God given blessing.
Its been what you call, a 'Holiday'. Nothing-to-do-day(s).
Heh, I'm actually enjoying it.
Unfortunately, all these free time give me space to do 2 horrendous things. (1) Calculate my finances (I should be clear of any deficits by now) (2) Think about, well, just thinking about things in general.
Again, Human ration breeds aversion and dissent. The last thing we need, is a depression.
Stop asking me strange questions. I know they must be answered, but I like to be a grand procrastinator. That an infinitly small possibility equates to an infinite chance. : D
As much as I would like to, my dream is to sit in the patio, under a warm baking sun, with a nice chilled beer and a good book to read.
Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is, my room is not the patio, English weather is no where near warm, or baking, or bloody hell! where the F is the sun! and neither is the Principles of Geology a smashing good read!
On the contrary, the idea of having to lull around all day, not make any coffee for any grimy customers, or clear dishes for 5.35 quids an hour, or rush around on chores for anything at all, is a God given blessing.
Its been what you call, a 'Holiday'. Nothing-to-do-day(s).
Heh, I'm actually enjoying it.
Unfortunately, all these free time give me space to do 2 horrendous things. (1) Calculate my finances (I should be clear of any deficits by now) (2) Think about, well, just thinking about things in general.
Again, Human ration breeds aversion and dissent. The last thing we need, is a depression.
Stop asking me strange questions. I know they must be answered, but I like to be a grand procrastinator. That an infinitly small possibility equates to an infinite chance. : D
Sunday, December 24, 2006
A star to follow.
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Its 3 am, and i've got to go for mass at 10am tommorow, and I've to wake up at 8.45 to take a 30 min walk to church. Yes, its that far away, and No, theres no public transportation. Welcome to rural England folks.
1 year ago, I made myself a promise during a 'spiritual conundrum' to devote this year to the church and work my way towards God.
I can't say that I got very far (ahem). Since, (ahem) I (ahem) haven't (ahem) been at the (ahem) best of (ahem) behaviour.
But then again, reflecting on the entire year from last advent to this, I cant testify to the marvellous changes He has enacted in my life, and though, these promises should never be made in a flurry and in haste, do think about what you want to do next year, not for yourself, but for the Lord, and work towards it. Because I will be doing that tomorrow during Mass at 10, and again at midnight.
I'm still feeling odd at how I must attend mass twice in 10 hours, not because I'm feeling Holy, but because I have the aversion to obligation. Heh.
I thank you all for your christmas wishes, those inclined and those obligated, those well wishes and they are all appreciated.
Have a Merry Christmas.. (to you too, NatWest blood suckers)
(p.s whatever evil spirit is making funny noises in my attic above my room, stop it before i besiege u with a bottle of holy water. dammit its 3 freaking am.)
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