Like dried branches waving in the air.

You know when I said that 2007 might be a good year?

I think I jinxed it. Haha..

I better win the 100,000 pounds on the scratchcard on my 2 cards weekly every sunday tommorow.

I'm confused. Why isn't Epiphany a solemnity here in England? Why is it celebrated tommorow when tommorow is actually, Baptism of the Lord, and Epiphany today.

See. More signs of laziness, and corrupt clergy. Oh sigh.

A certain sense of disjointedness.

The only constant there is is that star in the sky that shines everynight, far away, near the horizon.
I don't know what star that is, all I know that it is beautiful.

Been cooped up in the house for days now. The last time I stepped out good was on Sunday, when I went to church.

It is pretty unusual I that I stay in all day for days on end. In fact, its strange.

But life here seems so disjointed for me. Theres no head or tail.

I used to have things like a social life, my church ministry, people to talk to, tennis games to play. Yet somehow, I can't seem to put all these back together here, right now.

Possibly its the short time that I spend in this damned rural city. Or maybe its the lack of an outlet that allows me my own space.

Thats why I choose to stay in on the pretext of studying. In actual fact.. seriously little stuff gets in when I stare at the damned diagrams. Its like reading Hieroglyphics. I swear.

Many a times people from back home ask if everythings ok, everythings fine.

Well, it actually is, and I think its more then ok sometimes. Surely, more then once a week I'd feel a good amount of loneliness when I start thinking about home, but that goes away when I realise that I am too surrounded by people who want to go home (and actually do). The point of the whole thing is that, nothing is permanent, that I quote Marcus, time is, the greatest gift from God. Unquote.

While we hear the continous chants of Carpe Diem and tarry along! We seem to forget this essential silence that we bear in relationship with the Lord. It is an amazing relationship. Its like, having a partner for life, that will never scowl at you for not doing the dishes, or cleaning up your mess, or having a pint too much.

So many a times, when we meet silence in our own hey days we go; Hey! I'm suddenly so free! I've got to find things to do! We miss out on so many things beautiful when we do that.

Its definitely not about dropping our work, or not working hard to acheive what we need to. But the essential point is to embrace the moment, not seize the moment.

It is the same moral behind the story of the monkey and the watermelon. THe monkey wants to get to the food in the hollow watermelon, but refuses to let go, and so he's stuck with the watermelon with his fists clenched.

We are meant to do what the Lord means for us to do at a certain point in time in our lives, and there are times when He says, Be still, and know that I am there, and that is the lesson, I am trying so hard to bring to my mind sometimes.

We need to know that we are in fact, living on borrowed time.

Being alone and lonely never had more meaning then this.

There is a sale in the city, and I'm definitely going in tomorrow. After mass I guess.....

"On the 8th day, the Lord created the malls and He said, Go, shop." - Fag 5 from Queer eye for a straight guy.

Yes. they have that here. Amazing isn't it?

I like what I does, and does what I do.....

The gingerbread man sat enticingly on the kitchen counter.

It has been quite some time since I bought it.

It was about a few days before I came down to Plymouth, and I had so badly wanted to buy meself a few of those wonderfully decorated gingerbreadmans that we didn't have back in Singapore.

So I got myself 2. And 1 was nicked.

This one was shaped as a snowman, and it had features, nice, colourful bright features decorated by icing.

The snowman looked, like a kid's drawing at best, and it just kept sitting there, looking pretty.

I decided to have a go at it.

I peeled the cellaphane wrapper off the deliciously scented biscuit and took a bite on its bottom left corner.

The wonderful smell of cinammon and ginger filled my nostrils and the sweetness of the biscuit enveloped my tongue. It tasted hell good.

I looked at the snowman shaped biscuit in disbelief! What a wonderful taste it is!

And the snowman stared back at me, and its little red smile, never shone brighter before.

Get the moral of the story?

Why George Bush is the Worst President of America in all history (and future).

This is a real excerpt of a press interview the dumbass had with one of modern society's best journalist, Helen Thomas.

Q is Helen.

Helen. After that brilliant performance at the Grid Iron, I am -- (laughter.)

Q You're going to be sorry. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: Well, then, let me take it back. (Laughter.)

Q I'd like to ask you, Mr. President, your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is, why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, from your Cabinet -- your Cabinet officers, intelligence people, and so forth -- what was your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil -- quest for oil, it hasn't been Israel, or anything else. What was it?

THE PRESIDENT: I think your premise -- in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist -- is that -- I didn't want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong, Helen, in all due respect --

Q Everything --

THE PRESIDENT: Hold on for a second, please.

Q -- everything I've heard --

THE PRESIDENT: Excuse me, excuse me. No President wants war. Everything you may have heard is that, but it's just simply not true. My attitude about the defense of this country changed on September the 11th. We -- when we got attacked, I vowed then and there to use every asset at my disposal to protect the American people. Our foreign policy changed on that day, Helen. You know, we used to think we were secure because of oceans and previous diplomacy. But we realized on September the 11th, 2001, that killers could destroy innocent life. And I'm never going to forget it. And I'm never going to forget the vow I made to the American people that we will do everything in our power to protect our people.

Part of that meant to make sure that we didn't allow people to provide safe haven to an enemy. And that's why I went into Iraq -- hold on for a second --

Q They didn't do anything to you, or to our country.

THE PRESIDENT: Look -- excuse me for a second, please. Excuse me for a second. They did. The Taliban provided safe haven for al Qaeda. That's where al Qaeda trained --

Q I'm talking about Iraq --

THE PRESIDENT: Helen, excuse me. That's where -- Afghanistan provided safe haven for al Qaeda. That's where they trained. That's where they plotted. That's where they planned the attacks that killed thousands of innocent Americans.

I also saw a threat in Iraq. I was hoping to solve this problem diplomatically. That's why I went to the Security Council; that's why it was important to pass 1441, which was unanimously passed. And the world said, disarm, disclose, or face serious consequences --

Q -- go to war --

THE PRESIDENT: -- and therefore, we worked with the world, we worked to make sure that Saddam Hussein heard the message of the world. And when he chose to deny inspectors, when he chose not to disclose, then I had the difficult decision to make to remove him. And we did, and the world is safer for it.

Q Thank you, sir. Secretary Rumsfeld -- (laughter.)

Q Thank you.

THE PRESIDENT: You're welcome. (Laughter.) I didn't really regret it. I kind of semi-regretted it. (Laughter.)

Q -- have a debate.

THE PRESIDENT: That's right. Anyway, your performance at the Grid Iron was just brilliant -- unlike Holland's, was a little weak, but -- (laughter.)

Sorry.

Hmm.. A new Beginning?

I feel strangely detached.

I feel strangely happy.

I feel strangely confident and empowered to face the new year.

I feel cleaaan.

Haha..

If so you need to know, I spent the new year in the shower, washing away all the burdens of this year, and coming into 2007 fresh and clean!

Weird I must say, but when I got back into my room, the skies were lit with fireworks from all around the neighbourhood, and still is. I haven't seen a display like this since, Guy Fawkes Day, and before that, Lunar New Year in Cha'ah.

For some strange and queer reason, though I am here, devoid of any major celebrations, or close friends, or my complete family, just my sister. I don't really feel lonely, I feel empowered.

I am positively certain, 2007 will be a better year then 2006, and 2006 has been a blardy fantastically wonderful year bound and choked full with God's blessings and love for me! Yay!

Have a good one.. on me.

A quick post before dinner.

I don't think any other year could be as tumultous as this one.

I've had fantastically good times, and also.. fantastically bad ones.

I don't think I've shed more tears, sweat, and blood in any year, even compared to the entire 42 weeks I spent in OCS. No, I don't think that quite beats that.

It has been one of the best years of my life. Really. I mean it.

It was a damn bloody good year, and if I had it my way, I want 2007 to be like it, all over again, or even better. Damn power lah!

Happy Insane New Year.

May 007 (un) be more insane for you and I.

-

The past few days been horrible. Hate being stuck in the house, no friends, no where to go. Raining all day. Kids running around downstairs, and the good Lord knows how I hate kids so darn much. Especially when they cry.

I found myself cringing and kneeling screaming 'O Lord, why have thou forsaketh me!?' more times that I ever had in my entire 21 years of existence, and 14 years of knowing Chrisitianity. Yes, all because of little creatures they call Children.

I swear I was never one.

I couldn't possibly have morphed from such a horrific creature.

In mass today, I mused to myself why toddlers and kids scream and wail in church, specifically during mass. Notice they don't scream when they are outside church or when mass hasn't started, but do so during key points like HOMILY, and CONSECRATION.

Well, the reason, i managed to ration, is that they are demon possessed.. So, demons cannot bear being in the presence of God right? So they start screaming lah!

Like Raymond Tan like that. But Raymond Emily Tan is an established demon, he only wails when we deprive him of his mac, handphone, electrical essentials.

It was insane. I can't believe I have such weird thoughts during mass.

I can't wait to get back to Manchester, and I can't believe I'm saying that.

-

The plans for 07 are currently being drafted, decisions to be made, when to visit Mr Ethan Nehemiah in Finland Land for our Chicken rice/Salmon romp, when to besiege Europe as my finances allow it, and whether or not to carry on to plan for Rome!Easter'07.. I'd love to go, but practicality, commands the full deciding factor.

Other things under planning are my Summer Dream, well.. its a dream to me.. but a bloody chore to you.. A good 8 weeks outfield in Southwest England (Devon) with the British Geological Survey, where they gimme 200 chutzahs a week. Hopefully that goes through, as I said, its my most ideal way of spending summer. (other then coming back to singapore to once again, live the high life.)

Hopefully wheels start turning, and things start going. And with God's grace and mercy, by His benevolent love and blessings, may 2007 be a bloody fantastic year for you, as 06 has been for me, and also.. 2007 better be a good year man.

i won a pound on the scratch card. whoopee. good end to 2006!