Strange phenomenon.

In the recent years, our society, by and large, the international society has been witnessing an increasing phenomenon, or should I call it, trend?

There is an upward explosion in our youth's interest in third world country's welfare. Strange? I hardly doubt so. This is represented through the programmes that almost each and every educational instituition in Singapore, and as a matter of fact, even here in England. Students clamour for a restricted number of places to travel to far fetched "Shangri-la" countries to help poor and starving orphans, or even more ludicrously, to "help savage villagers built a proper school".

This trend, I believe, is just another passing phase, or fashionist's whim. Very much like how madonna and Angelina Jolie pick kids up from adoption boutiques and only to have the world rave and wow and at them.

When did this whole shenanigan start anyway? I believe it started when Princess Diana first actively involved herself in overseas' charities. In the same capacity, everybody, the whole damned world was enamoured with following the footsteps of Royals, not to mention, beautiful Royals. Gripped by such touching scenes of Diana clutching dearly to an Aids stricken orphan leaves the world enamoured and teary eyed.

I am in no way doubting the late Princess' good intentions, reason being as we all know it, she was a free-spirited good natured young lady, only precorious on the sexual scandals side.

The thing is, glamourising these trips to be 'Helping the poor' or 'Aiding orphans' is simply too far fetched.

Let me quote and example, in the days after the 2004 Tsunami, a local (i mean sillypore) university send a group of students on an overseas mission; to help rebuild houses. So the animated and excited group of 20 odd students took a flight over to Phuket, and helped build houses for a week! Wonderful isn't it?

Yet, in that 1 week, 1 house was built, rather quick i would say, and when the group left, the local Thais dismantled the said house, and built themselves another one, in half the time, because they thought that the house was not safe.

Another strange thing happened. In the aftermath of their good intentions, half the group decides to stay on in Bangkok, to do what every other Singaporean does, eat and shop. All in the name of Charity.

This is just a superficial example as to what kind of charity work that we are doing overseas.

More often then not, kids are told that they will helping poor people lead better lives, but in what way are they helping, by assuming that they are more superior and thus in a position to 'help' others? Who says so? Hoping the goddam living dignity inherent in each and every person. I certainly wonder on who came up with such a ludicrous idea to say, Oh! I think you need my help, so i'll come help you. Surely those who receive the help are happy.. never seeing Singaporeans in their life, and free food!

But what will ultimately become of them if this goes on? Summarily, they will ultimately lose their dignity when their school building is built by some school kids from 1000 miles away. The school building won't even be Theirs. It was built by some kids faraway. Who cares?

Charity? Lets live off it. The affluent will provide for us! Live off boutique charities! WHy not? What living dignity is there in this?

Gone are the days of self-affacing missionaries who who give up life and limb for the good of the savages. Haha. Surely there was also some misintepretation on the society for the Jesuits, IJ Sisters, Franciscans and CISMs to dominate over whole cultures by their kind actions. But we have to ask ourselves, are the kids who we send over to developing countries really doing any good, and are they doing it for the great glory of love for others, or simply, as a fashion statement.

I believe strongly, its the latter.

"So.. what did you do over the holidays?"

"Er, i went to timbuktu to help this group of orphans. oh.. they were soo poor and dirty! So poor thing!! and they were so happy to see us!!"

"Oh wow!! So coool!!! I want to go do it tooo!!"

Surely. surely.

I'm sorry Titty, I just couldn't resist.

My laptop screensaver is a slide of all the photos I have in my drive, and it came across this.

Ooops. I just couldn't resist. : D

No more, no less...

On hindsight, I have so much more time then my Singapore counterparts who slave over schoolwork, part-time work, CCA, church, friends and family. I've only got 4 of the 6. I don't see why I shouldn't shoulder more things. Anyhoo, schoolwork's more lax here.

Advertisements here really stick in your head.. so unlike the adverts we have in Singapore. Even though some of them adverts suck.. I still feel compelled to have a pint of Cobra, buy my eggs from British Lion Eggs, and use Olbas when my nose is stuck. Amazing power of advertisements.

Lastly, about being who I am. I think this is something everyone constantly talks about, simply because what the world is about today, drowns and suffocates the individual identity. It sets the boundaries on what is right and wrong, and what is morals and ethics. Its like how some people here think its OK to have kids when you are 16 years old, how its OK to be a single parent at 15. These are very warped ideas to me. It is immoral and totally unacceptable where I come from, and here, people openly agree with and support such strange decisions.

Its just a matter of the societal/communal identity, then the individual identity. Like how my society will probably not take well to a 15 year old single mother, I wouldn't too.

digging, just digging.

I can't sleep, and I've been thinking again.

This time, about OCS. haha

I was thinking about Exercise Spade, a digging exercise that all cadets had to go through when we were in Service Term II.

My digging buddy was Tingyi, instead of my buddy Greg, thats because Greg was really tall, and I was erm.. relatively shorter. So we had to pair up with people our size so that we dun need to dig so much.

Greg had his trench at the bottom of the hill, and I had mine at the top, beside Dexter's because me and Dexter and some other guy was to play Section Commander.

So yeah.. we dug and dug and dug.. for freaking 12 hours.

I remember digging with my own bare hands, spade, changkol, and pongki that basket thing.. And it was just... soo damn bloody surreal.. and me and tingyi were so tired we were struggling to talk to each other to keep awake!! haha..

And worse of all, we had to dig in the dark.. We could hear everyone else digging around us but we couldn't see them even when they were just a few feet away.. haha..

Me and Tingyi got off lucky, we just had to dig our own trench thingamajig, and the Foxhole to dig together.. and managed to do it overnight.. cus it was so damn dark we couldn't see.. and made it better the next day..

There were guys who's buddys fell out and they had to dig the whole damn 2 men trench themselves! So when we finished, we went around to help those who needed help. I remember going to help the MG trench.. WHICH WAS LIKE BLOOOOOODY MASSIVE. haha

Anyway.. i wanted to blog about how pathetic i was.. haha..

I was digging right.. and i stupidly dug infront of a small tree that obstructed my view!! SHIT!! I didn't think that it would really obstruct my view!!!! But when my instructor saw that.. he was like - _ -. Get rid of the tree or dig again. SHIT!! I din wanna dig again!! So i hacked at the tree with my changkol!! hahahaha.. damn stupid.

2nd stupid thing that happened was, me and dexter were section commanders right.. haha.. so there was this mock raid that the other platoon had to do on us.. so ok.. everyhting went alright.. we were run over of course because we were on the defense anyway. I thought that the other instructors from the other platoons were abit unfair cus they just anyhow declare casualty.. but nvm..

Our OC was PISSED OFF WITH all of us appointment holders!!! He said that it was because of us that we were over run!! I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO upset i remembered! And I was like SHIT!! ITs like MY fault!! Because i was an appointment holder!!!!!!!

Then right.. after going back to my trench feeling like shit and feeling horrendous.. i can't remember who.. but that guy said to me.. erm. we were the bloody defense.. of course we get run over.. what do you expect the other platoon instructors to do? Kill their own men!!?? haha..

oh no! I was so gullible to believe my stupid OC's scoldings. sigh.

I remember finishing up my trench and having lunch, then walking down to Greg's trench to have a chat.. and we'd take pictures with his little camera..

Then I'd walk around chatting with other people.. namely Dexter, and Raymond.. I got alot closer to Dexter during that exercise because our trenches were next door. I was already pretty close to Tingyi then. haha.. Raymond MIA half way.. secret story thats quite funny.

I remember during the night watches we had to hold, I would constantly try to chat with tingyi cus the both of us hadn't slept for like 3 freaking days and were so blooooooody shitty tired!! I can't remember what we would talk about.. but hell.. it was damn tough.. haha...

I remember dozing off with my chin resting on my rifle and my rifle still pointing front, weapon on safe.. haha... i was just tooo tired..

I remember sitting in that hole in the ground.. and feeling so.. mesmerized by living in a hole in the ground..

haha.. really crazy days..

Then there was this exercise we had to do in Mandai. It was a beautiful reserve with streams and everything.. and I remember very clearly Greg wasn't in a pretty mood that day.. he was very grumpy and pissy.. i dunno why.

But anyway. We managed to finish the whole navigation course, so we headed back to the Log point to finish up.. and while we were waiting there..

Weichang found a stream.. haha. so i went there with him to wash our feet and look at fish!! It was a beautiful little stream.. we were totally drenched and mud soaked cus mandai was a bloody swamp like area. crap man.

Then I heard over the comms.. Hello Hello... Anyone there?? We are lost!! It was RAYMOND!!! hahaa.. i wanted to laugh so badly lah!! We can hear them, but they cound't hear us!! So our instructor sent a message to them: Hello Hello... ARE U STILL ALIVE!!! it was soo funny the whole stupid thing..

Raymond's group was the last one to arrive (about 3 hours after my group, we slept, ate, played with water.. etc) and everyone was CHEERING when they came in!! Haha.. really funny stuff.

There was once Greg refused to do area cleaning because he was being anal about being busy cus he was the cadet wing comd.. so i locked him out of the room. It was really funny. I don't think anyone in the wing would dare to treat the cadet wing comd this way.. haha

Before Greg came, I didn't have a buddy, so I had my own room in OCS.. It was really nice having your own room, cus its like all the space you want, and its just nice..

So everyone always came to my room!! IT was HORRIBLE! They FLOODED my room, and I was really pissed!! But i had to ren... because cannot spoil relations between plt mateds. haha..

Raymond always came to my room to read because I liked it queit, or i played soft music, while his buddy kevin plays noisy music.. haha.

At night, Danson and Tingyi would bunk into my room and we would talk until like 3am in the morning about stupid things and the future and our lives.. dunno how come we got so much to talk about also.. That was before Danson left for medical school..

Then there was the defaulter's parades!!! THe infamous Tango wing Defaulters parades. For those who dunno.. defaulters parade is just marching around the parade square at ridiculously quick paces to torture you.. haha. its supposed to be a humilliating form of punishment..

I never got one because I was in my WSM's good books.. hahaa.. Raymond got EVERY single defaulter's parade. Shit man.. hahahhaa.. damn funny..

And everytime we asked him how was it.. he would break out into this RIDICULOUS mimic of the parade and it was so funny, we'd break out laughing.. and i loved watching him do it because it was SOOOO damn funny.. and we almost got caught by our MasterSergaent once.. hahahha..

Then there was once I had to do regimental Cadet Duty Sergaent on a bloody saturday.. And there was Defaulter's parade! And of course, Raymond was in it because he likes it so much.

My instructor, LTA something.. i forgot his name. oops. Was the Duty Officer.. haha.. And he sat outside my duty room watching them do the parade a.k.a being tortured by WSM.. And he whispered to me.. Eh, Jason.. going to start already.. so i went to the window to watch.. and when it started.. it was soooo bloody hilarious to seee all of them in the parade waving their arms and legs at such a fast pace.. it was RIDICULOUSLY FUNNY!! IT was so funny i had to force myself to stop laughing and go back inside the duty room to hide! and LTA X went back up to the office to hide.. because it was simply hilarious.

Then there was the time when COL Png Bee hin retired, and we had to have this parade for him... He's a really good guy.. super nice.. we like him very much.. So we were all lined up along the road, and were supposed to 'wayang' and wave to him... and my WSM told another WSM:"Eh.. i dare you to say God bless you COL Png!!" haha.. the joke stemmed from the fact that the good colonel was a very devout christian! haha..

anyway.... WSM disappeared into the forest.. and came back with some durians.. That evening, I was just minding my own business and asst.WSM told me to eat the durians.. haha.. so me and kevin ate the durian and cleared the evidence.. The next day, WSM was SUPER pissed that somebody ate his durians... me and kev were like... OOOPs.. and AWSM was grinning because he made that old man pissed. hahahha..

Then there was the 24Km route march where me and raymond were just chatting and chatting all the way.. haha.. like leisure walk... but SHIT.. it was so damn long lah.. and the pack was like super heavy.. haha..

I remember the worst exercise and at the same time, the most FUN exercise we did was POI, protection of installation.. we were at p.tekong.. It was this exercise that I really think that i encountered a blood ghost.. but thats beside the point.. we played civilians in stupid clothes to disturb the other platoons, and i dressed up as a pregnant kampong woman in sarong to infiltrate the 'base camp'... in the end i was caught... and i feigned ignorance by pretending to not be able to speak english.. super funny.. daniel was my partner in crime for this.. haha... it was the worst because by the third day, i assumed command.. but everyone was sooo damn tired no one was motivated to work! The mission next day was practically a complete failure.. i got chastised of course.. but it was ok.. i guess the instructors could also see we were totally GONE.

I remember the sunset during that exercise was soo beautiful cus we were based on this beach.. we took nice photos.. dunno where already. haha..

Shit. this is damn long... but i feel very happy thinking about all the fun things we did in OCS.. haha.. oh happy days.

There is really alot more stupid stories.. and funny things to share.. but oh well.. another time another day...

Self-imposed misery.

Everytime I look at the my grades section in Properties of minerals, I somehow find myself bashing myself telling my own pathetic mind that 88% is simply not good enough. I don't know if indeed it is good enough or not, but hell, i can really fel myself bashing my own head. argh.

Then today, when i was day dreaming, like I always do, I thought about what I would've done if I were in Singapore, be it NUS, SMU, or NTU.. and I figured this would be what I would have done if I were back home;

I would go to SMU instead of NUS, even though my whole family other then my mother would dissaprove.

The reason why I would go to SMU is because I would have been superficial to brush a fantastic opportunity of adventure (UK) aside. So I would be superficial, and choose SMU because of superficial reasons. I am not saying that SMU is superficial, you and I know its a good university for management stuff. But there are people who are there for superficial reasons no doubt (which explains the adverts).

I would take business. Because like about 70% of Singaporean individuals aged 25 and below, I would be enamoured and obsessed with earning money, and I will want to maximize my chances with the platform I already have, my father's tour agency.

I would be still having private tennis lessons with Lenny, because I wouldn't have any cash flow problems as everything is in Singapore dollars, besides, I would have a good tuition income.

I would probably be very involved with CCAs even though time is very tight. It is indeed strange because, I have all the time in the world here, and I don't have a CCA. hahaha..

I would be shopping incessantly.

I would be thinking that a trip to Bangkok or Myanmar would be an adventure. Yes it is an adventure. But compared to the countryside of England? You gotto be kidding me.

I would be living at home, in my own room, in Laguna park, with the facilities of a gym and pool, who cares, my university would have a free one anyway. Unlike Man Uni, which I have to pay ghastly sums of money for.

I would be going to my own parish, SFX, and not have to worry about things like lack of support in my own faith, and friends in the church, and people to talk to. I wouldn't have to re-establish my faith, role and juxtaposition in a new environment. And I wouldn't waste time getting angry over reports of abusing the liturgy and inobedient priests and poorly disciplined clergy and sex scandals.

I would be nicely fed because my mum would cook in the evenings. I will never have to worry about what to cook, or what to eat, because I am afterall, in bloody food paradise of the world.

I wouldn't worry about which coat to wear, or what colored scarf matches my shirt, or whether or not to wear gloves out. I'd just wear Tshirt and berms everywhere anywhere all day long.

I wouldn't spend 3 good minutes crouching over the electric fireplace to get it started.

I would be stuck with lame channel 8 series instead of Scrubs, and Friends, and The Simpsons, and UKTV History, every single day.

I would be with the people who have been tried and tested to be my friends.

Yet I can't ascertain that I would be 100% happy if i were still home. But i can safely say, I am 80% happy here. Don't worry for me. The last 20% is about food, religion and friends. : P

King lethargy rules the day.

Absolutely nothing. its 5 in the evening, and I haven't gotten anything into my stupid little head.

Spent the morning in bed reading.

Showered.

Tried to study but couldn't. Ended up chatting to people on msn, and calling mummy and melch.

Tried to study again but so very distracted.

WHAT the hell is wrong with me!!!!!!!

We rule the world!

http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/01/07/news/asians.php

It is amazing, how, everywhere I go in Manchester university, there will be a few Asians, regardless which part of Asia.. there will be a few of them.. somewhere there.. It is indeed strange to travel 13,000 miles to go to somewhere foreign to study, and be surrounded by your regional neighbours, right as if you were back in Singapore again. In fact, its very strange.

Thats why, sometimes, I like it here in Plymouth. Almost no Asians.

I think we will rule the world in the next century. May I propose that we posthmously grant the title of Stupidest American Of All Times to P.Bush? (I assume when we rule the world, he'll possibly have died.. and 2nd assumption, not all Americans are stupid, that is if you're Asian-American. haha..)

If I could change just 1 thing.

I would want my parents to not split up.

I would want that with all my heart and all my soul, because simply, I am beginning to acknowledge and identify the blows that it has impacted my own miserable life.

If I could change one thing wouldn't be, for me to be rich, for the one I love to love me, or for me to be absurdly intelligent, even though all 3 prospects seem ideally wonderful, and seriously, I wouldn't mind them.

Then again, if they hadn't done what they did, and already have done, I would probably be;

Studying in Singapore in some subject everyone else is studying and hating.

Going out with some girl that I probably won't want to live with for the rest of my life.

Not be involved in the Religion that has given my solace, kinship, and peace.

Taking over a company that I probably have waning interests in.

Living in a nice big house at East Coast.

Spending all the money I want.

The list is infinite.

Then I ask myself again. Am I happy with who I am and what I have done with my life so far?

Well... not extremely overjoyed, but I see that it has been good.

So what is exactly the one thing that I wish I could change?

I wish I could tell you everything, right down to the bottom of my heart.

But I can't.