in retrospect.

I am so broke that when I am looking at ebay pages, I have my accounts summary page in another window to remind me how broke I actually am.

douche.

It feels strange to be back in Plymouth.. It feels as if I've lived here all my life.

I know this city well enough (its not very big at all) and been out and around enough, but still.. It actually feels as I am coming back to something familliar.

Back to work today, it was very strange, familliar faces, familliar working habits, same old customers, same old friends, same old patterns, same old craziness. all very strange.

And I've only been away for 4 months.

Wonder how going back to Singapore will be like next year?

The day I regain some dignity will be mine. mine. mine.

There used to be the sunshine days where I could afford to take a very expensive taxi ride home from work whenever I couldn't be arsed on the train or bus, eat out whenever I wanted, buy anything my heart desired (anything less hten $500.. which is alot).

Gone are those golden days, and I am reduced to living on the borderlines of zero savings, and sometimes, worse still, in debt.

I look forward to the days after my degree where i can shake off the chains of fucking abject poverty, and live again, with dignity. No more fucking rubbish like Thursday Lunches, where Thursday being the only day in the week that I afford myself a full proper lunch. Every other day is just sandwiches, half a pizza, or even worse, soup.

No more rubbish like living on overdraft! I'm already almost into 200 pounds, and wondering how to recover that sum. : (

No more sheepishly scraping by on asda or lidl, or even worse, aldi, and buying vegetables from the indian shop. Booths or waitrose is the way forward.

No more soleviita piss orange juice from lidl, instead, pure freshly squeezed ones, or even better, innocent smoothies..

No more embarassing glances when I deposit cheques or money into my almost 0 bank account over the counter.

No more.

I dream of those golden days near the horizon, those golden distant days where my worries now do not exist. Those same golden days where my life would be much more happier.

you know i do.

I actually have a flipping assignment to submit in a couple of hours time and i am no where near complete. I hate that feeling.

Its just one of those assignments where, you CAN"T EVER FLIPPING FINISH THEM! Theres just so many facets of a rock to talk about! I can go on all damn day.

Its not too cold in Plymouth, thankfully. Its absolutely flipping freezing in Manchester already, and I was just thinking to myself the other day.. damn. I can't wait for spring to come again! Last year was absolutely lovely!

Bought a new 65+10 litre backpack.. absolutely gorgeous. yay.

thinking of getting a maaaybe 30 litre one so that shopping at sainsburys does not involve standing there for a good 10 minutes trying to make rectangular boxes round so that I can fit it into that tiny hole in my 20litre deuter. : (

I miss manchester already.

Haven't seen any of my friends in Plymouth. Supposed to have gone out last night. But KC being ever so slow took for-flipping-ever to reply my text, and forgot that i lived in st judes. So i gave up on going out and stayed home to watch the telly and sleep.

Looking forward to going to the lizard complex to look at rocks with my one and only crazy mapping partner, bart.

Thinking about caving. i miss caving. caving caving.

Feel like going to 42s. shit. i'm in plymouth.